How can you tell whether your spouse is actually cheating on you? Of course, you cannot just ask them point blank whether or not they are: doing so will likely make them feel very defensive, regardless of what the truth is. And, even if asked, your spouse may just continue to lie (if they are indeed cheating on you) unless you present some indisputable proof that something is actually going on.

So, to help shed some light on the situation, here are 10 signs of a cheating spouse:

1. Their attention seems to drift away from you during conversations:

Spouses that are cheating have good reason to project their focus somewhere away from where you are together: they are thinking about someone else! Of course, if your spouse's attention drifts away during conversation now and again, that is not cause for worry. But, if you find they are mentally vacant much of the time lately, you just might need to sit up and pay attention.

2. They avoid giving you eye contact:

A cheating spouse is a guilty spouse. No matter how they justify their ways to themselves, I guarantee that if your husband or wife is cheating - they are feeling guilty about it. And, guilty people don't like to give eye contact, because they are afraid of being found out!

3. There is a sudden change in their spending habits:

Spouses that cheat have to find a way to fund their double-lives. If your spouse always seems to be short on cash for inexplicable reasons, watch out.

4. Your spouse's clothes carry unusual odors:

Spending time with another lover means having experiences away from you. The smells of restaurants, bars, bowling alleys - wherever they meet - will tend to accumulate on their clothes.

5. You find unexplained receipts laying around:

This ties in with #3: if your spouse is cheating on you, they are likely spending money left and right. Mysterious receipts can act like a paper trail to their guilty deeds.

6. They frequently hang up the phone or end a call when you come into the room:

Spouses who cheat need to communicate with their new lovers. If your spouse frequently acts oddly when you come upon him or her during a phone conversation, be suspicious.

7. They own more than one mobile phone:

These days, it is not uncommon to own more than one mobile phone. Still, if your spouse owns more than one, ask them casually why they need two. Then, analyze the answer to see if it sounds truthful.

8. Your spouse suddenly wants sex more or less often than before:

People who are cheating may desire sex more or less often than they used to. Pay attention to sudden changes in their sexual behavior toward you.

9. They are particularly irritable or want to start a fight:

To repeat, a cheating spouse is a guilty spouse (see #2). Your spouse, if they are cheating, may unconsciously start fights with you in order to "justify" their cheating behavior by making you come across as a disagreeable or unpleasant person. Sounds weird, but it happens.

10. Your spouse suddenly changes their taste in music or clothes:

If your spouse is cheating, they are connected to a pipeline of new ideas and concepts about life from their new lover. That means music, fashion, books - you name it. Watch for signs they are changing their age-old habits in these areas.

If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, you are probably in a lot of pain. Whether you are feeling anger or sadness, both are signs you feel incredibly hurt. It may be hard to imagine your relationship recovering from this kind of a blow. However, there are ways to engage your spouse in an honest dialogue about his or her actions and then to move on to fix your relationship (if that is what you choose to do). Seek help from those who have been in your situation and made things right again.