We went full glut on the options sheet and ended up with middle-row buckets to match the fronts, a rear-seat DVD player, navigation, XM radio, a backup camera?and a sticker over $60,000. Decked out in Tuxedo Black with a light-tan leather interior?Cashmere, in Cadillac-speak?our Escalade is a formal beast.



Right away, logbook pages began to fill with complaints about space in the Brobdingnagian ute. Even in the front seats, our tallest staffers complained that the sunroof cut into their headroom. Meanwhile, those in the second row had to eat their knees, and we removed the third-row seats entirely'no small task in the Escalade.

Whereas almost every competitor in this segment offers flat-folding third-row seats, those in the Escalade (and in all GMT900 SUVs) fold down into two huge lumps that have to be taken out of the truck to maximize cargo space. They weigh enough that their removal is a job for strong backs only. But intact they offer so little passenger room?the same as in the much smaller Hyundai Santa Fe?and folded they leave such pathetic cargo space (just 17 cubic feet) that they had to go. Removing the third row leaves us a four-seater with plenty of cargo space'a popular long-hauler, but we really think we should be able to bring more friends.

When that long haul involves a trailer, however, most complaints fade away; most complaints, that is, except for fuel economy. If we were paying for the gas in this gourmand, we'd be grinding our way through our fourth or fifth set of dentures right now. At 20,000 miles, we are averaging 9 mpg, a number hindered by the amount of towing we've asked our Escalade to do. During these stints, we've seen fuel-economy numbers as low as 5 mpg, with a few dips down to 4 mpg. At $3.80 for a gallon of premium, that's frighteningly close to a buck a mile.

The Escalade gets such poor fuel economy with a trailer behind it for the same reasons it performs so well at the same task. In tow-and-haul mode, the six-speed automatic delays upshifts to make the most of the power band and downshifts early to maximize engine braking. Although it guzzles fuel, the 6.2-liter V-8's 403 horsepower and 417 pound-feet of torque feel as if they could tug a welterweight Caterham or two on top of the Slade's 7700-pound tow rating. And the rearview camera negates the need for a spotter when backing up to a trailer, even at night.

The Escalade also seduces us with its siren-song exhaust note. It sounds like an idling offshore powerboat and whoops under full throttle like a muted Saturday-night dirt-tracker, yet the clamor fades to a distant murmur on the highway. When unencumbered by additional weight on the hitch, the Escalade moves surprisingly quickly'0 to 60 mph in 6.5 seconds?for a vehicle as big as it is, and that goes for lateral moves as well'0.74 g on the skidpad. One of the highlights of GM's current big trucks is their nimble?for their size?handling. Our Escalade benefits aesthetically from the optional 22-inch, seven-spoke chrome wheels, but they make for a harsher ride than that of other trucks on this chassis. The Escalade's ride is responsive and still tolerable.

Those wheels, along with the jumbo grille and the chrome trim on the fake fender vents, door handles, and mirrors, give the Escalade the sort of new-money curb appeal that would be greeted by huffs, scoffs, and turned backs at the finest garden parties but by envious stares from the masses.

Ultimately, it's going to be that social-climbing draw and its abilities as an upscale tow rig that keep the Escalade moving off Cadillac lots, because with its appetite for fuel and paltry interior space, it's not a vehicle anyone will buy as an engineering triumph.