I had to build myself back up piece by piece, and it was only then that I found that I could do what I really wanted to do. I don't regret what happened because it woke me up and brought me to where I am now, but I know that I could have made a move sooner if only I'd had the courage. The impact of putting up with a job I hated took its toll, and these are things I see frequently in the people I chose to work with.



1. Staying Will Cost You in Stress

Chances are you're already stressed by the situation you're in. Stress is a feeling of not being in control of what's happening, not being able to make choices about what happens and feeling powerless about what's happening.

By sticking at a job you hate you are, by definition, causing yourself more stress. You're ignoring the choices you have and deciding instead to tolerate what you know full well you don't want to tolerate. The impact of the stress is cumulative, and as time goes by you'll notice that you get more short-tempered, it gets more difficult to think clearly and your motivation slips away. Ultimately, stress can lead to more serious conditions like depression and physical ailments like high blood pressure (and worse).

Continued stress can be very damaging, and as your primary responsibility in life is to make sure you're okay it's important to be radically honest with yourself about what's happening and be prepared to make some choices.

2. It'll Limit Your View

When you stay in a job you hate, or even one you just don't like a whole lot, you're forcing yourself into a role that doesn't work for you in some way and is too small for you. The more time you spend in that role the more you come to see it as your reality, and you forget about what can happen outside of that role.

Over time your world view shrinks to the confines of the role you've forced yourself into, and it becomes more and more difficult to see other options or to look at how else things can be. The more time you spend in that role the smaller your view becomes.

Always remember what's most important to you and what you really want. Always acknowledge the strengths and talents you have and always recognise that you have positive choices you can make.

3. Your Self-Confidence Will Take a Battering

Spending time in a job you hate sends all the wrong messages to yourself. After a while in a role you don't want to be in, the message you're effectively giving yourself is, "I can't do anything else", "I'm nothing special" or "I don't deserve anything better than this."

Often the biggest impact of squeezing yourself into a role that you don't want to be in is that it erodes your self confidence and self esteem. You tell yourself that it's not possible to do anything about the situation you're in, that you should simply ‘put up with it', that you don't have the ability to do anything about the way things are and that you don't deserve anything better.

As time passes, you feel more and more powerless to do anything about the situation and you lose trust in your decision making ability. You forget to listen in to what your intuition tells you (that still, small voice inside you that knows exactly what's happening) and you lose the confidence to step up and play a better game.

Don't allow your confidence to shrink and atrophy through inaction. Trust your own instinct and intuition. Even though it's scary, always remember that you can make choices that serve you well and that you have what it takes to plan and prepare what comes next in your life.

4. Your Relationships Will Suffer

When you're in a place in life you don't want to be in, it's often the people closest to us who see the worst of us.

When you're stressed, frustrated, upset or angry, it's a partner, friend or family member who you'll snap at, be short with or not let fully into what's happening. Give it time, and the impact on your relationships will be a significant one. You might vent or whine at those closest to you whenever the opportunity arises, or you might start keeping things in because you don't want to have to talk about or think about what's going on. Your communication in key relationships becomes less effective and the way you behave in those relationships might be negatively coloured by how you're thinking and feeling. We've all known people who bring us down, who seem to be really negative or just talk about everything that's wrong, and they're not pleasant company to be around.

Be open and honest with yourself first of all, then be aware of how your situation is leaking out into your behaviour and affecting your relationships. I'm guessing that your intention isn't to damage your relationships with those closest to you, so keep your positive intention in mind when you're with them, talk with them honestly when it's right to, and remember to have fun, laugh and be their friend too.

5. You're Not Delivering on Your Capability

You're more capable than you know. We've all got untapped potential and none of us have touched the ceiling of our capability.

If you're running the very real risk of damaging your confidence, self-esteem, relationships and options by sticking at a job you hate, you're clearly not delivering on your true capability. Even though you know deep down that you can have, do and be more in life you're not exploring that capability or looking at what you'd love to do, what would put a big grin on your face or what would make you step back and go "Wow!"

What do you want for yourself? How would you prefer to think or feel about your work? How would it be if you could find a career that works for you, rather than the other way around? Go with where there's some energy, fun or excitement even if it looks scary.

Have fun with your capability – it's yours to explore and it's just waiting to be explored.