The standards set, while growing up into adulthood, had most of us depending on others - parents, teachers, and relatives - for direction and guidance that set up our self-image and levels of confidence. Unfortunately, during that period of time, we experienced more no's than yes's. As a result we either rebelled or we succumb to the expectations of others - looking to them for approval -- embedding in us expectation levels of perfectionism and shaping our self-image.



As adults, to function in a competitive world, requires that we be less dependent on looking to others for approval. The drive to win approval, through perfection, sets in motion negative procrastination and a stressful existence. When we drop the notion that we must live up to others expectation of being perfect, we then begin to build our inner strength of self-confidence.

When we overcome the lack of self-confidence and feelings of self-doubt, then problem solving and decision making, becomes second nature to us. True self-confidence comes about by understanding our abilities, strengths and having the willingness to change what we choose.

"Change" is a word that runs the gambit of drudging up feelings from anger, bitterness, hopelessness and pain to happiness, relief and pleasure.

However, bringing everything into consideration, you and me and everyone else on this planet is in the problem solving business - and to be effective in delivering problem solving solutions we need, a well developed, self-confidence. Therefore let me say that living in an economy based on innovation -- an economy in which you can win big simply by out thinking the competition -- self-confidence and decision making is paramount to success.

Now, let me give you an exemplary example of someone who embodies such characteristic traits of self-confidence and problem solving.

Frederick W. Smith, Chairman, President, and CEO, FedEx Corporation; describes his creation of a central clearinghouse, along with a hub-and-spoke system of dissemination, enabled FedEx to deliver, point-to-point, anywhere in the United States -- absolutely, positively overnight. Smith said: "We thought that we were selling the transportation of goods; in fact, we were selling peace of mind." - Fred Smith's focus and self-confidence was a force in his innovation and problem solving solutions.

Here are several methods for increasing your self-confidence and problem solving abilities according to Brian M. Alman and Peter Lambrou, Ph.D.'s

** First, identify which area of your life spawns the most self-doubt, the least self-confidence. - Your work, people of the opposite sex, parents, a boss, spouse, etc.

** Second, select which area you want to work on first. Set reasonable objectives and focus on one specific circumstance in which you feel self-doubt.

** Third, go into a state of quiet relaxation to do some inner examination, some self-exploration. Imagine an old situation with someone whose approval you sought, but now imagine a new actions stemming from your perceptions of self-confident behavior.

** Forth, where you had self-doubt, now see yourself with self-confidence giving yourself positive self-suggestion to reinforce the change you want to accomplish.