When you think about success, first think back to your childhood.



"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Do you remember that mantra chanted from the back seat of the car during long drives? You might have been driving past beautiful scenery, interesting people and having a great chat with your family ... but all you could think about was getting to your destination so that you could get out of the car and play.

Most adults live their lives as if they are still in the back seat of the car. They ask "am I successful yet" like a mantra and ignore what is passing them by.

It seems that we are so focussed on the end goal we forget there is a whole lot of stuff that happens in the middle. And if we reach one goal we instantly set an even bigger goal and start aiming for that one (and beat ourselves up for not hitting our goal earlier, faster, better).

We don't allow ourselves to see that our success journey is really a series of smaller journeys with infinite possibilities for enjoyment along the way.

We don't allow ourselves to feel relief, gratitude and to bask in the glow of achievement when we reach a minor milestone. We just race off to the next one without drawing breath.

We don't allow ourselves time to stop and reflect on our journey so far - what we have learnt along the way.

So how can you turn this around?

The first step is realising life is not a one destination goal - your only measure of success is not just one exam at the end of your life. Life is actually a huge number of smaller tests - some which are obvious and some not so obvious. Success is a cumulative process on how you go on all of these tests.

If you are a logical type - look at setting goals in all areas of your life. This includes work, spirit, family, health, and friends. Once you have set your targets ask if they really are achievable - I mean REALLY achievable.

If your expectations of yourself are too high, you will never meet them, which means that you won't ever achieve success in your eyes. Break the big targets down into smaller manageable steps and tick them off as you go. Factor in time to celebrate each success - with a personal rule that you can't start the next step until you have properly celebrated the one you have achieved.

Take time at each step to reflect on your learnings. Accept you did some great things as well as some things that can be improved upon. The focus here needs to be on a balanced assessment - not a doom and gloom drama.

If you are a feelings type - work out what success feels like. What emotions do you associate with success? How does it feel in the base of your belly?

Each day when you reflect on your feelings - look to see when you have felt success that day. Again, you are looking for a balance of your emotions. You have succeeded just by virtue of the fact that you are still alive and breathing. Allow yourself to feel the gratitude and the emotions of success.

The bottom line is there is no one single "there" from your "are we there yet" mantra. There are a series of "theres". Stop - celebrate and enjoy each one. You are a success.