This desire to give the perfect gift comes from the need to look good. You want people to acknowledge you as the best gift giver and out do the gift you gave last year. Although you may get this recognition from people, the thirty seconds they spend to thank you will not feel worth it after all the hard work and money you spent.



Furthermore, needing to get acknowledged by others for what you give is your way of being validated. As I have discussed over and over again in my articles getting your self-worth and validation externally is a negative pattern. You keep looking to get validated by others and you work harder and harder to get it, it feels like nothing is ever good enough. Hence you end up buying the more expansive bigger luxurious gift even if you can not afford it.

It is no surprise to me that so many Americans have become resigned and cynical about the holidays. Things like gift giving has become about giving the best and out doing others. People forget that giving gift is an expression of love and appreciation for another person.

When you see yourself thinking "I did not spend enough" or "I have to get something more for them" these are signs you are focused on the material aspect of gift giving. You want to look good in the eyes of the receiver. Instead focus on giving them something from your heart.

Here are some ideas for giving gifts that have meaning: give someone a book you love that has impacted your life. Give a picture in a frame from a special moment with that person. A hand written thoughtful card can have more of an impact on someone then a bright shiny gift. Donate to a charity in honor of someone. If you are still looking for gifts remember it does not have to be the perfect gift. More important than the perfect gift is a gift that is given with love. Be kind to yourself and your wallet this year.

Here is your assignment for this week: Stay connected to giving a gift from the heart. Let go of trying to be perfect.

Copyright (c) 2007 Melisa Milonas LLC