Q: Help! I'm deathly afraid of heights! Is this normal?



A: Lots of people have things that make them afraid. If you are afraid of heights, it's not considered to be a problem or abnormal unless it is interfering with your life. Consider the following example: your sister's wedding is going to be a mountainside resort with cliffside views, and you're considering not attending. In this situation, clearly, the anxiety is ruling your life. If this is the case for you, then your fears are taking over your life and you should seek help to learn to overcome your fear of heights.

Q: My friend suddenly passed away, and I'm having nightmares and feeling anxious about it. What's wrong with me?

A: It's not unusual to find yourself thinking about someone whom you have lost, or even to dream about them. The best thing to do is allow yourself to deal with the loss in your usual way of dealing with sad events. If you find that you continue to have nightmares, that your anxiety is increasing over time or interfering with your life, then you may want to consider seeking professional help.

Q: My significant other says that I worry too much. Is this true?

A: It depends. Everybody worries now and then. Everybody goes through situations, which might trigger more worry than usual. However, for some people, worry begins to interfere with their ability to think, to concentrate, to relax and/or to enjoy life. At the point that it begins to interfere with your everyday life, then you should consider seeking help.

Q: I have to give a presentation for my class, and I'm feeling really anxious about talking in front of other people. What should I do?

A: Many people feel nervous when they have to give public presentations. As mentioned in the above example, it's not considered to be a problem unless it is interfering with your life. Thus, if your hands are shaking a little and your voice isn't as steady as it could be during your presentation, but you get through your presentation, then you are probably just a bit nervous and your nerves will get better with more practice. Giving your presentation is the best thing that you can do to decrease your anxiety. If your anxiety is so intense that you skip the class on the day you are supposed to give the presentation, then you should seek professional help to work through your anxiety.

Q: I not only have trouble giving presentations, but I find that I can't really talk to people and I get really nervous when I try to make conversations with people.

A: It's okay to feel anxious when talking to new people or to people whom you want to impress. It becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your ability to meet people and build relationships. People who experience this type of anxiety often feel alone because of fears of rejection or embarrassment. It may even be difficult to talk to a therapist. If your anxiety around other people is getting in the way of having the types of relationships you want, then you would likely benefit from professional help.

In the above examples, you can see that anxiety can be felt in many everyday situations. In fact, our bodies are built to be afraid and to feel anxiety, and these feelings are a way to protect our safety. However, this safety mechanism can become problematic when it not only protects, but becomes out of your control and gets in the way of what you want to do in life. In this case, you don't need to suffer - you should consider seeking professional help (e.g., seeing a therapist or counselor) from someone who can understand your situation.