Breaking the chain of low self-esteem need not be an exercise in futility. Despite the fact that it seems like a Herculean task, because the state of self-loathing and insecurity colors one's world in bleak shades of gray, breaking the chain of low self-esteem is actually an easy endeavor that starts with one step.
No matter how difficult that first step is, once it's done, you would be on your road to a better you.
Self-worth is a crucial part of a person's psyche. If one's self-respect is in dire straits, his or her productivity, outlook in life, and just about everything in his/her life would be affected. This bondage must be broken.
Most men in the corporate world respond to their achievements being praised. Most women, on the other hand, bank their self-esteem on their physical beauty or whether they are lovable.
Whether you are an adult needing your sense of worth fixed, or a teenager who is in search of your identity, a sound self-esteem is very important. Here are some great tips to get you moving.
1. Find out the root cause of your low self-esteem.
Usually, the root comes from how they and their families interacted. Once you find out about where your low self-esteem comes from, you can now move on to the next step.
2. Go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts.
When you learn how you became the insecure person that you are, go through the process of coming to terms with your inner conflicts. Face your fears head-on. Admitting and accepting that you are a wounded person is very important.
3. Decide not to live like a victim.
When you decide to start healing, now starts the real meat of the journey. You have to constantly decide not to live like a victim, to choose not to see that the world is out to offend you. Let the offenses slide; let the pain slide.
Just acknowledge that people have hurt or offended you, then move on and focus back to your life. Remember that how you perceive life is a matter of choosing the thoughts you subscribe to.
When you do decide to stop believing and living like a victim, reinforce it. Instead of telling yourself that you are ugly, or believing when your boss tells you how incompetent you are, confront yourself with the facts.
Does the mirror say you look like Quasimodo? For an objective assessment, find a friend who loves you and believes in you. Are you truly incompetent? Get a measurable yardstick. How much output can you make in a week? Does it confirm to your so-called "incompetence"?
This life is not meant to be lived in the dumps. Stick to reality, come to grips with the past, walk on, and succeed in breaking the chain of low self-esteem.
Breaking The Chain Of Low Self Esteem
Watch TV, open the newspaper, listen to the radio, or visit news sites on the Internet and you'll immediately notice that the amount of human failure and disaster one is exposed to is disheartening. If you are like me, you may find yourself avoiding these sources of news and ?entertainment? because you can't stand the amount of negativity that infiltrates your mind and harmfully impacts your energy-state! Not surprisingly, much of the negativity in the world is sourced from people having an unhealthy, low level of self-esteem. Shocking, extensive research shows that over 85% of the world's population has some type of deficiency in their level of self-esteem.
Low self-esteem causes feelings of discomfort, unhappiness, anger, fear, procrastination, frustration, shyness and incapability. This array of negative thought processes and sensations causes people to look for artificial ways to cover up their lack of confidence by taking on forced or unnatural behaviors. Three of the most common ways of covering up a negative self-image, diminished self-esteem and low confidence levels are:
1) Forced and unhealthy communication Forced acts of communication are ways we relate with each other in an unnatural and destructive way. Examples of unproductive communication could be uncontrolled anger, screaming or abusive language, or making unfair or unproductive remarks. All too often, when we feel uncomfortable in social situations or fear being controlled by another, we try to gain the upper hand by dominating the other person in some manner. For example, your spouse might make a remark that you allow to cause you to feel poorly about yourself or attacked in some way. (The words of another can never negatively impact our self-esteem unless we allow them to do so.) Most of the time, we react to what someone says when they bring up something we can not be with about how we see ourselves. This reactive feeling is all too often a sign of a diminished self-esteem. As a result of feeing threatened, you might counter with an aggressive or hostile remark of your own. Before long, you have unintentionally begun a downward spiral in communication that will surely erode your relationship over time.
Lacking self-esteem likewise impacts all other areas of life. Additional examples include fear of public speaking, ineffective professional communication, pursuing a carrier that is not in alignment with one's passions and life-purpose, dating or even marrying people that do not match up well with our most important values because we fear we may not attract our ideal partner, and bringing up children to be fear-based, reactive, or unhealthy in their perceptions of the world and in their relationships with others.
2) Sleeping Excessively in order to Escape from Reality Do you know anyone who ?sleeps their time away?? For countless people, sleeping is a way to escape their painful feelings of incapability, fear, discomfort, unworthiness, and weakness. These feelings stem from the interpretation that one is somehow unlovable or not good enough and are ultimately the result of low self-esteem levels. They drain our energy and cause internal friction that makes us tired. They also result in having us want to escape those situations instead of coping with them in an appropriate and effective manner. For many people sleeping is the easiest escape rather than learning to face life's challenges. Sleeping is a means of recuperation ? so upon awakening, all challenges can be coped with more easily with fresh energy. However many people don't use sleep for the purpose of regenerating energy. They numb their pain with ?chronic sleeping? as an escape from reality. As an escape strategy, problems remain unaddressed and unsolved and so tend to become worse with the passing of time.
3) Use of Alcohol, Drugs, and Cigarettes As an active observer of people's coping strategies, notice how often so many look for ways to numb the pain rather than address the source of their challenges. Many find comfort in cigarettes as a stress reliever. The underlying source of mental stress and bodily tension is often diminished self-esteem. So often, people condition themselves to turn to alcohol or drugs after experiencing a stressful event. Rather than deal with the causes of life's disappointments, relationship challenges, or ineffective communication, it's often easier to look for ways to forget about the problems by turning to alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Of course, these destructive forms of escaping the uncomfortable feelings that are caused by low confidence, a bad self-image and poor self-esteem often result in compounded health and social challenges of their own. In addition to their harmful physical effects, drugs and alcohol amplify negative feelings and thus result in further destructive behavior. In this way, they compound the already present challenges and result in a worsening, vicious cycle of greater proportions.
Low self-esteem is most often the cause of these destructive and escape-seeking behaviors. Rather than detach from or attempt to escape the challenges brought on by a poor self-image and low self-confidence, there is a more effective way to live a more powerful, happier and more abundant life ? simply by elevating one's level of self-esteem. After working personally with thousands of coaching clients in the past 15 years, I have uncovered an effective yet simple and easy-to-implement formula for improving one's self-esteem. The entire process of healing one's painful past, accurately assessing one's current situation, and proactively designing the future in choice can be found in the step-by-step self-study program entitled, ?The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boost the Most Underrated Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life.? For more information on restoring your self-esteem and reclaiming your magnificence, visit TheSelfEsteemBook.com website.
Both Michael Lee & Dr Joe Rubino are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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