Our series about how to succeed in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone, continues. Commitment and love are important to all of us. They are worth working for; they are worth fighting for. We know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter B.



B is for being there. In the world of relationships this is just about as important a term as there is. If you aren't there for someone at his or her time of need, you can pretty well kiss that relationship away. When you think about it, being there is not really all that hard to do. In most cases being there means providing a sympathetic ear and perhaps a willingness to run a few errands. Obviously some people will try to take over as soon as another person shows any interest. But most people will not. And don't forget, a shoulder to cry on is a wonderful thing. Yes, even for guys.

B is for balance. Put everything into perspective. Appreciate that little problem for what it is, a little problem. Don't go around making a mountain out of a molehill. And conversely, don't go around making a molehill out of a mountain. When people have done something special don't belittle them, and don't blow them off. Everybody needs a boost and that's our next word.

Yes, B is for boost. Do what you can to help lift someone's flagging spirits. I remember doing a presentation that left something to be desired. It seems that my partner..., but that's another story. One of my classmates came over to me and said that she liked our presentation. I felt great. I didn't think that she was patronizing me. And there were several fine aspects to our incomplete work. Everybody needs a boost. Of course, it's important not to hide the negative. But accentuate the positive.

B is for bright. Of course, we can't all be clever. But we can look on the bright side, to supply some sunshine on what may be bleak times. Optimism can be infectious. But it has to start somewhere. Why not be the one who brings forth the bright side of life? People will appreciate you for it. As they say, it all depends on the viewer; the same glass is half full or half empty.

As the poem goes: Two men looked out of prison bars One saw the mud The other stars.

(Cynics would say that he banged his head on the concrete.)