With the widespread use of the internet comes the increased danger of online infidelity in chat rooms, which can cause marital problems and can even cause a marriage breakdown. These have become known as cyber affairs, which frequently occur after someone gets addicted to chat rooms - but how can you tell if someone is a chat room cheater?



When someone has become addicted to online chat rooms they have an opportunity to indulge in sexually explicit chat in real-time with total strangers.The messages can be sent privately so no one else in the chat room can see them but the two people involved. It is possible to use certain stealth software to discover what is in the private messages but that is for another article.

Private messages of the steamy variety are already pretty bad but another way for the cheating chatters to communicate is by...voice. This might be a bit more difficult to hide from a suspicious partner than merely typing at a keyboard but it can be misused in the same way as private messages. It is a bit more risky but all it needs is a bit more privacy so that the conversation can't be heard.

And That's Not All...

As if all these steamy chats with total strangers wasn't bad enough then it gets even worse. Thanks to the wonders of technology, it is now simple to view someone on their personal webcam. Obviously, this adds a whole new dimension to online chat. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what this could be used for.

So what does go on in the chat rooms?

As most people in a chat room are strangers to one another it is easy to say things without embarrassment. Initially, the chat could be generalised and quite mundane but people have an habit of forming little cliques in the chat room and then these can split up further into couples who start to get emotionally attached to one another. After a while this emotional attachment will deepen and it may develop into an online love affair. Sometimes the two chatters arrange to meet each other and their cyber affair into a real-life love affair. Even if it stays on a non-physical plane, it can still be devastating for a wife or husband to find out that their partner has been indulging in emotional infidelity with someone they don't really know.

Do we really know what causes cyber affairs?

Studies have shown that it is a type of emotional escape into an online fantasy world to avoid the problems and realities of normal life. Anybody can pretend to be somebody that they are not on online.

For instance:

A wimpy husband can assume the persona of a hot lover and be sought after by elderly housewives who themselves are posing as young beauties. An ordinary housewife can assume the persona of a stunning beauty and have her pick of men who themselves are just as ordinary but who pretend to be a hot lover. However, there would be a quite shocks if the hot lovers ever met the stunning beauties in the real world.

So, how do I find out if someone is cheating online?

If you suspect your partner is having a cyber affair then ask yourself these questions.

a) Does your partner spend nearly all their PC time in chat rooms?

b) Is your partner still on the computer while you are alone in bed?

c) Do they want to be left alone while they are on the computer?

d) Do they act secretive if you enter the room while they are on the computer?

e) Do they get irritated when you question the amount of time they are spending on the computer?

f) Do they spend more time on the computer than with you or the family?

g) Do you feel that they are neglecting the housework?

If you have answered yes to most of these questions then your partner may well be involved in a cyber-affair.