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Why Do People Change

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This is a loaded title, with good reason. Marriage itself is loaded; there are so many factors and elements that feed into a marriage that breaking it down seems impossible at times. One of the biggest questions people have is "why has my partner changed so much from the person they were when I married them?" This is a complex question, and the answer isn't simple, but we're going to try and examine it in brief.



Of course the most obvious answer is that people are constantly changing and growing, but it goes deeper than that. When you first meet a person you are attracted to their outside self and personality; however, this can often be completely different, or at least removed, from whom they are internally.

Marriage generally constitutes many, many years together; as a consequence, all facades, all barriers fall away, leaving a person's true self exposed. And often, a person's true self takes their partners by surprise; it is not what they have come to expect. This feeling of foreignness can lead to the dissolution of a marriage or its reinvigoration.

In an era of marriages that occur in as little as days, it's no wonder this question is asked so often and so frequently. Contrast a couple who has been engaged several months and one who has been engaged several years; which one is likely to last longest? Probably the ones who waited, as they will have had time to see each enough of each others true selves, sans façade, to determine if they can really pull through together.

This is perhaps one of the biggest reasons couples seek help from people like marriage counselors and therapists. Coming to grasps with the way a person is rather than whom you wanted them to be is often difficult, but can be equally rewarding when all is said and done.  While you don’t' necessarily need a therapist for this, they can greatly aid you, or you and your spouse, in figuring out how to deal with these new revelations.

Positive or negative, learning who your partner really is can be part of the fun of being married, and it is always an exploration. Consider taking your time and getting to know the person you're with before you get married; if you're already in a similar situation to the one above, a marriage counselor or relationship therapist can really help.

Marriagemax.com is an alternative marriage advice website created and run by relationship expert Mort Fertel since 2004. It covers a broad range of marriage topics and offers advice and ideas for helping out your marriage.
Why Do People Change
NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. It is an approach to psychotherapy and a model of change based on the subjective study of language, communication and change. NLP practitioners had a lot of success helping people. Here are 3 reasons why NLP is very effective in helping people change, grow and succeed

1. NLP is solution oriented. One of the NLP fundamentals says that we need to look for what the client wants first. A NLP practitioner will ask the following questions very early in the discussion "What is your objective? What do you want?" Instead of researching the past to find the possible cause of such and such problem, we determine an objective and find or create the resources that the client needs to step away from the problem and go towards the solution. The clients create their own objectives and the NLP practitioner guides them through the steps toward the solution. Simply put, a NLP practitioner will help the client find his own solution with the resources he already has in him or herself.

2. NLP is brief therapy. No need to lie down on a sofa for 20 years. NLP stands on the shoulders of giants like Freud, Perls, Erickson, etc? find the best practices, the best strategies and helps clients create their own success and help them realize that they already have all the resources they need to change. They just need a guide. That's what NLP is all about. A NLP practitioner doesn't have the solution to the problem but he knows how to help you find the solution that is already in you.

3. NLP is not based on theory. NLP came from modeling exceptional people and exceptional psychotherapists. The founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, observed and tried to replicate the work of Milton Erickson (hypnotherapist), Virginia Satir (family therapist), and Fritz Perls (gestalt therapist). They were interested in what were the key strategies that made these therapists successful. Then Bandler and Grinder created models that we could replicate to have the same kind of success they had. In other words, we already know that when we apply the same models or patterns to a client, it is actually going to work and the person is actually going to be healed. To give a concrete example, lots of scientists criticized the NLP phobia cure or NLP allergy process because of no scientist evidence that it will work. Nevertheless, the NLP phobia cure technique can help a client get rid of a phobia 100% of the time if correctly done and the allergy process helps a client get rid of an allergy and it works 85% of the time.

NLP is solution oriented, fast and not based on theory. NLP practitioners have a lot of success helping clients with communication, phobias, traumas or general health issues. But NLP is more than curing a phobia. NLP is about helping someone evolve and become congruent and aligned in all areas of your life.
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About Author
Both Kausik Dutta & Emmanuel Segui are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Kausik Dutta has sinced written about articles on various topics from Satellite, Home Improvement and Alcohol Treatment. For more information about any of the programs or to contact Mort Fertel, please go to or call 410.764.1552.. Kausik Dutta's top article generates over 60500 views. to your Favourites.

Emmanuel Segui has sinced written about articles on various topics from Neuro Linguistic Programming, Build Online Business and Web Development. And now I would like to offer you my free minicourse : "Discover the TOP 5 secrets of EVERY highly successful Person to Achieve What You Want" today and discover how you can change your life with NLP at. Emmanuel Segui's top article generates over 5400 views. to your Favourites.
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