1. People can change anything

2. There is no failure, only feedback

3. People are NOT their behaviours

4. Respect the other person's model of the world

5. The meaning of communication is the response you get

The attitude you portray outwardly is a result of your inner state. You might like to think of your inner state as a feeling. Most often, our state is described by a 'feeling' word: angry, happiness, joyful, accepted, guilty, peaceful for example.

I'm going to look at these one at a time and we'll discuss the implications for your golf and for your leadership.

It's obvious that some states are good for you, and some are not so good right?

Anyone like to feel angry - I mean actually enjoy it? I don't think so... if you believe that you enjoy feeling angry, I'd suggest that you have a more powerful result from your anger that - perhaps it's power? The angry boss who persists in it because it's the only way they can feel powerful - strip away their anger and they crumble.

Anger - directed at self, others or the outside world - for whatever 'justifiable reason' harms you.

Firstly. think about something really pleasant. Remember the time when you were ecstatically happy or joyful? Whenever that time was, whatever you were doing (and there's no need to be shy, but keep it to yourself OK ☺ ) live in that moment, see what you saw then, hear what you heard, feel how you felt, smell what you smelled, and taste what you tasted. There? Good isn't it.

Now remember that moment, because I want you to quickly get back here in a moment.

Allow the good feeling to dissipate - quick wasn't it? Still nice and lingering just a little.

Now, remember the last time you were angry. Whatever you were angry about - a poor shot, a child misbehaving, an argument with your better half, your boss at work, a customer... what do you see? what do you hear? What do you feel? Nasty isn't it? Unpleasant, perhaps a knotted feeling, certainly you'll notice that certain muscles are tense. Now, go back to the happy memory and stay there as long as it takes to replace the feeling.

As you come back into the room with me, you'll have noticed a difference between anger and happiness (or joy or whatever word you like to use). It's likely that you took longer to dissipate the feeling of anger than that of happiness? Why is this? Well, the feeling of anger most often manifests itself in tension - physical tension - most often in the stomach, the shoulders and the head - but it can be anywhere in the body. Where's yours?

You are an athlete right? Well you play golf, perhaps athlete is a little too strong for now, but you are nonetheless. So you are aware of having muscle ache, or 'the stitch'? When you tense your muscles intensely or over a prolonged period - the muscles burn energy much faster - too fast for proper nutrition - and a toxin is left in the muscle tissue - which takes a while for the blood system to clear up. Anger creates tension which leaves a toxin in the body which takes time to clean. Too much, too often and your body will tire of this - requiring more replacement energy - that's why angry people eat more than happy people - oh and usually they eat faster too. IT's not the only reason, some people are just lazy and fat, but you, you are an athlete and do exercise and stretch plenty. You know that you need to keep stretching those muscles don't you? The more flexibility and elasticity in your muscles, the better right? So, if anger creates tension - does this benefit flexibility and elasticity? No, of course not. So not only does anger fill you with toxins, it reduces your ability to swing well. Convinced that this anger thing isn't good for you yet? Good, let's move on with what you want instead.

Copyright (c) 2008 GainMore Advantage