But the sad fact is, that's what most people in your situation do…they RESEARCH…but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn about because they come up with “excuses” for why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.
Well let me tell you….your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage was…my “situation” was NOT different either…
So why am I qualified to give YOU advice on marriage? Because I managed to save my marriage…on my own…after 27 years of fighting, car chases and battles over her way vs. my way.
Our marriage was as bad as it gets.
You see, I married my COMPLETE OPPOSITE. In fact, you'd think we were from different planets if you compared our habits, values, priorities and temperaments… and that's before you take into account our male/female differences….which brings me to one of the best pieces of advice on marriage that I can give you…
1. LEARN THE “5 LOVE LANGUAGES”
When I discovered this critical bit of advice on marriage, it really opened my eyes as to EXACTLY what made my wife happy. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do!
Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Live Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved…and what they need from you!
When I found out what made my wife feel loved… I was SHOCKED!
She wanted “acts of service” of all things! I thought that since I liked “words of affirmation”… that she would too!
I hated doing “acts of service” (a.k.a. chores around the house, gardening and repairs) and that's exactly why I wasn't meeting her needs! I didn't realize what I was doing wrong until I read this book.
… which reminds me…here's another great piece of advice on marriage you need to keep in mind...
Many couples make the BIG mistake of treating their spouse the way they WISH their spouse would treat THEM!
In other words, smothering your spouse in hugs and kisses isn't going to make him/her want to hug/kiss YOU more if what they actually need from YOU is “acts of service” like taking out the trash or cleaning the house!
If you want to improve your marriage and have your spouse meet your needs, by meeting theirs FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it at: http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/gary.html
Now I've never seen anyone talk about this last piece of advice on marriage, so pay close attention…
2. YOU CAN'T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE IT FIRST
Many people search for the recipe for a happy marriage, in a quest for a simple LIST of things they can go do and then simply “check the items off of their list.”
But unfortunately, that's not how REAL married life works. I could give you a long list of advice on marriage that would improve your relationship, but that list won't do you any good. If you're like most married couples, you won't act on ANY advice on marriage… until you first feel like doing it FIRST.
Telling you to “go do something” to improve your marriage is NOT going to make a difference in your relationship when you resent your spouse and feel SO negative that you can't even bring yourself to do it!
The key is actually FEELING LIKE doing something positive for your marriage…and THEN doing it.
Believe me; it's MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when you're feeling optimistic about your marriage… than it is to “force” yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage.
Now I know what you're thinking. “How do I get to the point where I FEEL LIKE doing something to improve my marriage? I'm so frustrated with my spouse right now!”
Well, I'm glad you asked. I offer a FREE mini-course on “How to Overcome Your Negative feelings…the Moment they Appear.” If you're at all interested, keep reading so you can get started on the mini-course right away…
Christian Advice On Marriage
Marriage separation is often used successfully by married couples to work through the problems they are currently having and learn how to save their marriages. However, for some couples, it can do just the opposite by creating more distance between them until there is nothing left to build on. Whether or not marriage separation can work for you is dependent upon your unique situation and personalities. Here is some advice on marriage separation and
whether it can really repair a broken marriage.
What Does Marriage Separation Offer?
Typically, marriage separation allows a married couple to put some space in between them. This can remove them from a hostile situation where they are continuously arguing or fighting about one thing or another. Spouses usually live apart during a marriage separation and this gives them the chance to think about things without the stresses of that sort of hostile environment.
It also shows them a glimpse of what life will be like without their spouses - so that they get a new perspective on the entire situation. Soon, it becomes evident whether absence makes the heart grow fonder or strong enough to go through with a divorce.
How Does the Distance Affect Most Married Couples?
The distance of a marriage separation affects each marriage differently. As stated above, it gives the couple a chance to reflect and think. While one couple may decide that their lives are not complete without their spouses, for another couple marriage separation may be the space they need to decide they are better off apart. Think about your own marriage and what the major problems are.
Usually, most of the arguments and disagreements can be pinned down to one or two root causes. Are these root causes something that can be easily fixed? If so, marriage separation may give you the chance to repair the damage and fix those root causes so that you can rebuild your bonds and become happier.
Although marriage separation isn't right for everyone, some couples truly benefit from it. If you're stressed out from daily chores and responsibilities, it can be difficult to really decide how to fix your marriage. For this, marriage separation is beneficial.
Think about your situation and determine whether marriage separation would really benefit you or not. By considering the different points above, you can better decide which is right for you. In the end, we all want to be happy so choosing the method or route that will find you happiness more quickly is important. Talk to your spouse about it and see what he or she thinks about the situation. Marriage separation could be the thing that saves your marriage.
Both Larry Bilotta & Dani Taylor are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Dani Taylor has sinced written about articles on various topics from Divorce and Infidelity, Child Custody and Family Concerns. Dani Taylor is one of the most active members of the divorce support community at . She is also the editor of the. Dani Taylor's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.
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