The secret to successful dating lies in getting the 7 stages worked out properly before you make a move. These 7 steps are necessary and sufficient for all romantic liaisons to flourish! They come from a well-thought-out system that applies to all and everything, so we can adapt it perfectly easily for our purposes. And indeed what are our purposes? That's the first stage of the 7.



1) Define to yourself very clearly what your purpose is. This may be just an evening shared with someone whose company is less boring than being alone, or it may be a hope for casual sex, or it could be the first move in a courtship process towards marriage. Each has its own different attitudes that need to be got right.

2) Provide entertainment so that when conversation fails there's something to distract the attention without awkward silences. This of course needs to be something that both of you enjoy and is best when it allows for talking as well as not talking. In the end – the long term – it is conversation that binds two people together successfully.

3) Be willing to enjoy yourself in the company of your date, just for the sake of that company and not only towards the fulfillment of other agendas such as sex or social prestige. Underneath, people always know whether they are sincerely appreciated for themselves.

4) Be careful to progress from stage to stage appropriately, according to what feels right for both. The first kiss, the first gift, the first night…these need to be elegantly timed if they are to work well.

5) Begin sharing future plans as soon as possible… “See you at the party”, “Let's meet for coffee” and so on. This develops the sense of involvement in each others lives

6) Say Sorry. Say it easily and quickly if you have done something upsetting. Build respect early on, and put false pride aside!

7) Remember that relationship is to do with sharing and that always means give and take. Try to give more than you take and you won't go far wrong.

© James Burgess 2007