You of course have the option of resorting to outright confrontation, and this could possibly lead to verbal sparring and angry outbursts. The worst case scenario is that you could end up quitting or conversely, you might be asked to leave.
Control your own Behaviour
The first thing you have to realize is that the only person whose actions you can control and direct is your own. Don't even bother trying to change other people – they will probably only end up disliking you for it.
You can, however, direct some of the more potentially heated confrontations by adapting a non-confrontational attitude. Be clear, firm and assertive without resorting to loud or aggressive acts yourself. In most instances, this can already work to cool the heads of people involved.
Good communication
It cannot be emphasized enough the importance of clear communication. This means the ability to speak clearly without being ambiguous or leaving the potential of being misunderstood.
While it means avoiding rude, angry or emotional outbursts, it also means not resorting to the opposite but equally unhelpful means of communication. This includes sulking, unreasonable silence, and a too-obvious avoidance of your boss. Many times, the best strategy is really keeping to the middle ground.
Learning how to communicate effectively is a skill like any other. Thus, it can be learned and developed. Over time, it can help to define a better working relationship with other people.
Put yourself in his shoes
Perhaps your boss is dealing with some conflict in his own life, or is resolving some troubles of his own. Granted, this really isn't a valid reason for him to lash out at you or anyone else who might not have anything to do with his problems. However, it does help if you understand that your boss is human too, and that he has problems of his own to deal with.
If anything, it can pave the way for a more empathetic interaction where you do not unduly discount what might actually be very important to another person. Hence, don't bring problems to his or her attention when he is obviously wrestling with difficulties of his own. He won't likely be inclined to be generous.
And when you do approach him, be sure that you have reasoned out your arguments well enough to be able to rationally address any objections he might raise. Not only can this prevent you from getting hostile, but it can also help him to see your value as an employee – regardless of his personal problems, and why you deserve a raise, a promotion, or the right to be heard in a matter in which you feel strongly about.
Compromise
This can mean an agreement to disagree. This can also mean that you agree not to pursue issues that can no longer be resolved. Ultimately, this means that you have to learn to be comfortable with the fact that you cannot please everybody, and that some problems cannot be resolved. This is no reason to beat yourself up over it.
Dealing With A Difficult Boss
Well… A bad boss is a universal phenomenon. All of us at some point of time or other have faced the monster from hell that just loves twisting you round his tiny li’l finger and takes pleasure in trashing your hard day’s work right into the bin without any compunction! Phew... it’s a tough little world we all live in. Here are a few practical pointers that will help you not only in dealing with that tough taskmaster of a boss, but also maybe help you win him over!
Don’t judge him/her in haste. Call it the human tendency to gripe, but experience shows that people crib about their bosses just two days into their job! So if you are just into your job and are having problems coping with the Big B for inexplicable reasons, take a breather. Instead of rushing into conclusions, take time off to understand your boss and his/her working style. Giving yourself some time gives you some breathing space to settle into your job, get accustomed to the work environment and hit off a working relationship with your colleagues and more importantly, your boss. According to experts, 3 months is a good enough time. In an ideal world, by the end of the period you will end up realizing that your boss is not a bad soul after all!
Understand his/ her psyche. Yes. Apart from discharging your duties, being on a job also entails taking on the role of a psychologist. It pays to observe people, not the least your boss. Silently noticing your Boss and colleagues gives you a peek into their character. Pay more attention to your Boss’s conversations, his mannerisms, how he interacts with the rest of the team. Observing him will help you discover his likes and dislikes, pet interests and even weaknesses. If you are smart, you will know how to leverage this knowledge and develop good camaraderie between the two of you. You might gladly end up discovering that you share similar interests. So, the next time you feel like wringing your hair out in frustration, stop cribbing and starting observing!
Speak Up. Ok so you have grinned and borne your boss. Observed him to get to know him, have tried every thing to get him to like you, yet he continues with his boorish behavior. Then it is time to have some frank speak with him/ her. Put your concerns out in the open. Tell them frankly what it is about their behavior that is discouraging you. If your boss is considerate, he might take efforts to change his behavior. But if he refuses to back off and regret his misgivings, go on and talk to the HR and other higher ups in your company to come out with a solution. According to industry experts, talking out sometimes helps clear the air and gives your boss an opportunity to correct himself. Standing up to him will show you in a new light, as someone who is confident and fearless. It may, with the right boss earn you some brownie points a la good commendation and better prospects for promotions.
Vent your woes to willing ears! Can’t handle the stress anymore? Then go ahead and vent your woes about your unfortunate situation with your colleagues, friends, and family - well practically anyone who is willing to lend you a patient ear. As any amateur psychologist would say, bottling up your feelings will only end up stressing you out. While talking out will relieve you of tension and give you solace that you are not the only one afflicted with a bad sore-of a boss.
Cautionary advice: Have these sessions outside office and very far from your boss!! Don’t over do it. You may end up driving people away with your whining.
Nothing works? Get out! If you think you have given your best shot to live with that bully of a boss and he still ends up making your life a living hell? Then its time for you to pack your bags and scout for another job!
Both Benedict Smythe & Sameer Panjwani are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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