Do you evaluate what other people have, achieved, or own and compare it to you? After which do you decide whether you are better, worse, or equal to the other person? You may think to yourself "what is the problem with comparing myself to others"? "It helps me track how I am doing." The downfall to comparing yourself to others is that you get your validation and self worth from others and not from within.



You beat yourself up over seeing what another person has or done that you feel you should have done as well. Underneath you may not really want what other people have but you are consumed with being equal or better than your peers that you are blocked from knowing what you truly want for yourself.

Let me give you an example to help explain this pattern. A woman wants to host health events because she believes people need to be educated about their health and wellness. As time goes on with her planning she becomes more worried about hosting an event that will be better than her friend's successful health events. She loses sight of her original reason to host the event, which is to contribute to the guests for their health. Instead she becomes preoccupied with comparing her event to her friends.

Comparing yourself to others has you make choices and decisions that are not aligned with you but your ego needs to be better. Like the women planning the health event you make choices based off of what you could do to out do the other people.

You are not a bad person for comparing yourself to others, our culture has taught us to operate in this way. I would say sometimes it is good to evaluate what other people have or achieved as a way to gage where you want to go in your life. We all need people in our lives that model for us what we want. The key is not to validate how "good" or "successful" you are by comparing your results to the other person. Success will look different for you and you want to open to recognizing it.

An empowering approach to take is to be in inquiry. What can you learn from this person? What mistakes did they make that you do not want to make? What helped them to be where they are? Also bless them for who they are and what they have or achieved. Especially bless those who you envy or tend to frequently compare yourself to. Blessing them helps the universe give you what you desire.

It is important to note that often times what we perceive to be a blessing, advantage, disadvantage, success, or undesirable may not be perceived in the same way by another. For example, your friend may get laid off from their job and you may think to yourself 'thank god that it was not me." However, your friend may think this is a blessing, now they have time to find a job that they love or take time to travel.

The point that I am making is that comparing yourself to others is based off of your own perceptions which come from your mind. Believing in them is believing in an illusion. So when you catch yourself doing it remind yourself what you think or believe is not real.

Your assignment: When you notice you are comparing yourself to another person get your power back by stopping the thoughts. Remember to bless the other person. Ask the universe for what you desire. Focus on what you truly want for yourself not what would have you look good to others.

Copyright (c) 2008 Melisa Milonas LLC