There is an amazing drug in our midst, and I am going to teach you how to get your hands on it. A tranquiliser than cuts emotions short. A drug that allows an individual to put off feelings, of anger, stress, and anxiety. Thousands of people have been using it 20-30 times per day. But maybe you haven't heard about it. It's one of the fastest acting drugs in the world. Within seconds you'll get an immediate buzz. Pretty cool huh. Have to be careful though, this drug is so addictive if you try it two or three times, there is a good chance you are hooked for life. But hey, after using it for a few years many people call it their new best friend. Sounds like a good compromise.



So today you are in luck. If you too are wanting to get your hands upon one of the most powerful and dangerous drugs known to man kind, without going to the Doctors, I'm going to tell you how. No fuss. No worry. Your own personal tranquiliser, so you too can avoid life's problems. Are you ready?

You are going to need about $5-$20. Maybe a car or perhaps you can walk. A disguise won't be necessary; a natural composure is the best plan to get away with this one. If you are under 18 you may need an older brother or friend to help you. But for everyone else, here is the secret to getting hold of one of the most addictive, powerful drugs in the world.

The first step to acquiring all the necessary ingredients is to make your way down to the corner store. Now remember, this is the important step, you must pretend to act absolutely ordinary. No loitering, no shady glances. Just pretend like it's totally normal to go about buying a hazardous, toxic powerful addictive drug from a place that sells sugar covered lollies, and chocolate coated ice creams to kids. It's okay, no one knows what you are really going to get, so stay calm. Make sure you have a pleasant smile and a straight face, stay relaxed and use please and thank you. Now this is what you say....

?One packet of cigarettes please.? Did you do that? That's all you had to do. Please don't tell me you hid your head in shame. No, no,no. Be absolutely normal. Now, if it all went to plan you have managed to get hold of one of the most addictive, powerful chemical substances on earth. You are so clever.

Now any time you feel stressed just puff away and you'll feel so much better. Angry with your partner, have a puff. Angry with your work, have a puff. Puff, puff, puff away to a care free life.

By the way I probably forgot to tell you this. The first puff won't actually do anything for you. Instead it will probably make you feel sick, nauseous and light headed. That's because you will be inhaling over 4000 chemicals, 600 of which are poisons and 40 of which are believed to be carcinogen. But don't worry; many people have ploughed on through this repulsive experience. Its? only after the third or fourth cigarette, when your body has adjusted to the terrible smell, taste, and toxic affects that you can now feel the amazing results.

Nicotine works so fast, you get the quick jolt almost immediately, and lasts an entire 3-4seconds, but unfortunately nicotine also leaves your body just as fast. And it doesn't leave nice and easily either. So every few minutes it will make your body ache for more nicotine, and so you'll puff away to replace the nicotine you've lost. And then you'll have more nicotine, but then you'll lose that too and ache for more, so then you'll need to puff to replace that nicotine, and then you'll lose that too and so....... well I think you get it.

Now nicotine really does hate strong emotions. Any strong emotions and, it tries to leave your body really quick, but in doing so it makes you really, really ache for more nicotine. So this is the great part, get ready for it, every time you're angry or stressed, instead of having to deal with the actual problem you'll be craving for nicotine so much you'll forget about the problem and run away for a puff. You are so lucky, you'll never have to deal with your emotions again. Instead you have to merrily puff, puff, puff your way through life.

If you were to read up on books and article about smoking, you know those annoying health experts that want to bore you with things called facts, like how smokers die ten years earlier of respiratory disease or cancer than non-smokers, the great thing is, smokers get so worried and emotional about hearing these facts they need to run outside for a puff and so manage to avoid them, and anyway dying of lung cancer is a small price to pay, to puff on a stinky, smelly burning piece of plant material that does absolutely nothing for you.

Occasionally there are people who don't like the thought of dying ten years earlier than they have to by way of a gruesome horrible death. So they decide to quit. However upon quitting they suddenly find themselves always angry and irritable at people and different situations. Now god forbid a person actually having to deal with real life issues rather than runaway and puff on a cancer inducing, poison.

However, having previously smoked at every emotional upset before in their life, a smoker of course has no idea how to actually work through their problems. It's not the lack of a cigarette that causes them to be angry, but it is now the lack of an excuse to avoid the feelings of anger, which forces them now to deal with real life issues.

So if you have been one of those people who have quit smoking and now find themselves angry or irritable, you could of course continue using that powerful, addictive drug, you can find freely available at the corner store next to the ice-cream and strawberry flavoured lollipops and smoke yourself to death, or perhaps you could instead work through those emotions and issues you have managed to avoid for a very long time now and go on to live a healthy, happy life. The choice of course is yours.