These come from my own experience and the experiences of many others who are close to me. I hope you find the list helpful and will seriously consider it before making the big leap!



1) You need time to really get to know the other person. When people first meet and while they are in a dating relationship, they always put their best selves forward and try to hide the aspects of themselves that they think will not be accepted by the other person.

The longer you spend time with another person, the more likely some things will slip out that have been kept hidden. Also, as people get to know one another, they are more likely to feel safer about sharing aspects of themselves that they may have wanted to hide in the beginning.

Then each partner has the opportunity to work through any issues that come up and to decide whether they can live with the other person for rest of their lives or not.

2)You need to be emotionally healthy before you can have a healthy marriage. In order to have a happy and healthy marriage, the individuals need to be emotionally healthy themselves.

People with unresolved childhood issues bring those into the marriage whether they are aware of it or not and the issues will play out in the marriage. The problems can eventually be resolved through hard work, but only if both partners are willing to do the work.

Often one partner will decide that they didn't get what they bargained for and will leave.

3)You and your partner need time to discover whether or not you are really compatible. It is very beneficial to get marriage counseling to find out where you click and where issues may arise later on.

Good marriage counseling helps partners to figure out if they agree or not on the most important issues that arise within marriages.

For example, if couples do not agree on how to spend money, whether or not to have children or how they should be raised if they do have children, matters of faith, what constitutes a healthy sex life, etc., there could be serious problems in the relationship.

Problems can be resolved, of course, but sometimes couples find out during counseling that there are so many differences that marriage would be a big mistake.

4)You need to make sure that the relationship is not only based on hormones and physical attraction. Sex alone cannot hold a marriage together.

There have to be some common interests and life goals. There needs to be a friendship and mutual respect for one another and recognition of what each can bring to the relationship besides fulfilling sexual needs.

5)You need time for yourself to mature and figure out what you really want in life. Young people often are intrigued with the idea of being married and raising a family, but feel cheated later on that they had no time to themselves.

Recently divorced people will often jump into another relationship to prove that it will be different this time.

Also, individuals need to find other means of fulfillment in their lives so that the marriage partner is not seen as the person's savior - marriage should be viewed as being more about giving than receiving. An attitude of "what's in it for me?" will always bring disappointment.

Stay tuned for more marriage and relationship tips...