Just so I'm absolutely understanding what you're saying. . .

Fantastic. That makes total sense. And so that I'm really getting where you're coming from . . .

What do all these things have in common? Well, they are icing on the cake of our persuasion abilities, in essence. We have learned to elicit criteria and create a deep rapport with our prospects and clients. Now, by adding these phrases to our conversation, we are polishing the silver, so to speak, making the conversation elegant and creative giving more expression to our persuasion abilities.

Softening statements and questions are just that. When we elicit criteria, the basic structure is, 'What's important about X? What's important about Y? And ultimately, what's important about Z?'

Once you're comfortable with the process then adding these softeners soothes and encourages your prospects and clients further adding to your persuasion powers.

'So, I'm just curious, tell me, what's important to you about finding a new advisor?'

'Well,' says our prospect, 'I'm just not feeling comfortable with my current advisor and I'm looking for a change.'

'Absolutely. Fantastic. That makes really good sense. And just so I'm completely understanding you, what's important about feeling comfortable with your current person?'

'Well, I just really want to feel solid in knowing that I am being taken care of with my best interests being looked after. I am not finding that to be the case right now.'

'Absolutely. I understand completely. And just so I am crystal clear on this, when you find that safe and secure feeling that you're being taken care of, what will that mean to you?'

'It will mean that I don't have to worry about my family or my family's financial future.'

When we use softening statements, we're putting our prospects at ease. We are showing we truly understand and are acting in full accord with their needs and desires.

Persuasion, to me, is a lot like being a musician. We learn the fundamentals, the theory, do the exercises, practice, and then when we get the piece down, we can add to it our own special flourishes and improvisation. This combination creates a beautiful symphony that is hard to resist.