Fortunately for most people with alcohol abuse problems, it's not necessary to attend meetings, work steps, or sit around in groups in order to stop drinking alcohol. In fact, doing any of these things is more apt to make the problem worse, not better. After all, if you have a problem you're powerless over, a disease, then why would you be able to stop? The answer is that most people who sign up for the disease model never do quit drinking alcohol. But for you, there're actually other possibilities that work.

Start with the fact that you use alcohol for one or more reasons. It's a great anti-anxiety drug; a social lubricant; a habit; and so on. Alcohol fills the time when you're bored; is a comfort when you're lonely; and focuses you when your attention wanders. The trouble is, it's only a short term cure and eventually it gets in the way of long term solutions to your discomfort, pain, and troubles. In fact, it begins to add to all of those problems it once eased.

Now you want to stop drinking alcohol but you're afraid the only way you've heard about - the so-called Minnesota Model based on AA and the 12-Steps - isn't for you. Well, you're probably right. Most people with alcohol abuse problems need help in refocusing their lives onto more satisfying and long-term solutions than alcohol offers. It's a matter of shifting activities and priorities away from alcohol, not onto just another form of alcohol fixation. You don't need a cult, you need a life.

What really works? To start with, you need to become really aware of your drinking patterns. You need to keep a log, a written record, of both your urges to drink and when you actually drink. Notes about when, where, how much, and what any precipitating factors there are. As with most aspects of our lives, we aren't very good at being accurate about what we do, when we do it, why we do it, and so on, whether it's eating, drinking, smoking, loafing, or most other activities. But it's also impossible to change a behavior until we know what it really is. And let's face it - most of us who get to the point of wanting to stop drinking alcohol have been trying to fool ourselves and lying to others (though rarely convincingly) about how much we actually drink.

A few weeks' worth of records will tell you a lot about what you're using alcohol for. Once you've figured that out, and a good counselor can help you with that, you can begin to imagine substitutes. One problem here is that the substitutes need to eventually be more enjoyable than drinking. That's a problem. Truth is, nothing works as fast as alcohol; nothing is as handy; nothing is as short term effective. So, your solutions are going to have to be pretty good if they're going to last. (That's why most alcohol treatment programs fail - clients end up with lives that are less satisfactory after treatment than before. It's no surprise that most go back to drinking almost immediately after discharge.)

You will also probably want to schedule an appointment with you physician. There are new anti-craving medications, Naltrexone in particular, that can ease the pangs for the first few months. Meds alone, of course, won't fix anything for long, but you can probably use a respite during the early going.

Many people also find that physical activity helps a lot. Whether that means going to the gym, or hiking, kayaking, swimming, or some other vigorous activity, most people find that they feel better physically, emotionally, and psychologically when they engage in regular workouts. This is also equally true for both men and women and may be an opportunity to re-engage with a spouse or friend.

You may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of changes that affect most of your life. If that's the case, a good counselor or life coach will be a good short term investment. Competent ones will help you sort and prioritize your way through the maze of changes, challenges and conflicts. Avoid any who promote the disease model, abstinence only outcomes, or a continued alcohol focus. Choose someone who will work with you to reach your goals, not impose her or his own.

Finally, the best way to stop drinking alcohol is to create a life that's more satisfactory without alcohol than it is with. When you achieve that, alcohol will no longer pose a threat and you will have achieved personal power worth treasuring.