With all this talk, its natural that many women would like to get involved and become a surrogate mother themselves. So what are the age qualifications?



Before we talk about how old a surrogate mother needs to be, it is important to clear up one important issue. Every woman who considers surrogacy must have given birth to at least one child without complications. If she has never had children of her own, a woman is under no circumstances eligible to become a surrogate mother.

Though there is such a thing as being too young for surrogacy, and too old for surrogacy, there are no absolute set lines. What is considered too old or two young in one situation, might work out in another situation. That is one of the complex parts of this community; there is no one set way to do anything.

A surrogate mother should be at least 21 years of age before considering surrogacy. Though many women already have a child or two by the time they turn 18, most agencies, clinics, and intended parents feel that 18 is too young for surrogacy.

There is a vast world of difference between 18 and 21, though that difference is understandably narrowed for teen mothers. Still, the emotional commitment required for surrogacy is something many 18 year olds will not quite comprehend.

The biggest concern that most intended parents have with surrogacy is how the surrogate mother will feel at the birth of the child. They worry that she will become emotionally attached to the baby and will have trouble giving him back. Though this can occur with surrogate mothers of any age, the younger the surrogate, the more likely the situation.

Some states feel this way as well. In many states that have chosen to have clear laws for surrogacy, a surrogate mother must be at least 21 years old to enter into a surrogacy agreement. This is for her protection as well as the intended parents.

Another aspect not often mentioned is the fact that surrogate mothers and their intended parents often form a significant bond with one another. Most intended parents are in their late thirties to early fifties.

It can be much more difficult for an 18 year old to bond in this manner with a 50 year old. Often their interests and goals are very different, simply because of the age difference.

On the other end of the spectrum are older surrogate mothers. The general rule is that a surrogate mother needs to be younger than 40. There are many exceptions to this rule, however.

For those women who have recently been pregnant, say within the last two years, without complications, surrogacy can be an option. There are several surrogate mothers who have delivered four or more surrogate babies, all in their 40s. Many 40+ surrogates have given birth to healthy surrogate twins or even triplets.

It is also common for a mother to act as a surrogate mother for her child, effectively carrying her own grandchild. These women have carried in their 50s without a problem.

With gestational surrogacy, a 40+ surrogate, especially an experienced surrogate, is not unusual. It is highly uncommon, however, for a traditional surrogate to be in her 40s, as the risks of birth defects to the child increase in women's eggs over 35.

So though age is important in surrogacy, like all aspects of traditional or gestational surrogacy, the "thin line" actually blurs. What is good in one situation may not be the best in another. And what won't work for one couple, turns out to be a blessing for another.