You wonder sometimes when your sweet charming little cherub grew into the headstrong distinctive personality he or she is today. It seems like just yesterday you were tying shoes, buttoning jackets and reading bedtime stories. Now your baby is speaking a whole different language and wants to spend most of his time with his friends. All is not lost; you still have a chance to be a part of your teenager's life. In fact, you will both be better off for it. Spending time together one on one is an important part of connecting with your teenage child.



Time together can be found in the simplest of tasks. Teenagers can be asked to help mom or dad with chores such as dinner, car maintenance, cleaning out the garage, etc; conversations often start over a shared task. Sending them off to do the task alone will get the job done, but joining them in the work will not only get it done faster, it will also provide that opportunity for bonding.

Yard work is another great together activity, but bonding takes place best when yard tasks are shared. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation over the sound of the lawn mower and weed eater. Those tasks are important, certainly, but time spent working together weeding a flower bed or raking leaves will be much more effective in the bonding process.

While spending time together, even if you are working while you do it, be sure to introduce an element of fun. Don't be afraid to get playful and try to relax if things get a little messy. You might have a little extra cleanup after dinner or you may have to rake the leaves again, but the bonding that comes from playful interaction is priceless.

Time spent together watching a movie or playing a video game is also nice. There is certainly something shared when you get together and share an experience. However, it does not allow for the quality of conversation that will encourage them to talk about what is going on in their lives. You will bond on some level while playfully harassing each other about a game, but conversations will be centered on the fast moving action of the movie or video game.

Getting outside to play a game of real basketball trumps virtual basketball on so many different levels. It's so to easy to put a portable basketball hoop in your driveway. There is time between game talk for conversations about real life. Heading outside with a real basketball and to shoot a few hoops provides the action that can get conversations started, but the pace is more conducive to meaningful interactions.

Another way to bond with your teenager is to plan an occasional one on one outing together. This will not only provide lots of opportunities for bonding, but will also help both of you relax and rejuvenate away from the responsibilities and pressures of daily life. Take a day and go fishing, ride the bike trails, attend a race or whatever activities both of you enjoy.

The teenage years are relatively short, but it is a time of great growth. During these years there is tremendous potential for success or mistakes, some of which can have lasting implications for better or worse. You will be better able to guide your son or daughter through this age if you regularly spend meaningful time together.