Before Making the Final List of Groomsmen



You have a mental list of your groomsmen; your best buddies, four of them are already sure numbers, and you deem the lot more than adequate. But your wife-to-be wants her brother included in the lineup, and your mom wants you kid brother to tag along again. That would be six nattily dressed stalwarts beside you when you make the vow. Well, you cannot complain.

But when your mom insists that your kid brother be the best man, you put your foot down. Not your brother, please. You want your best friend - the friend who knows all your dirty little secrets deserves to be the best man for never spilling the beans, not even when under duress. But when the discussion lengthens, you become more confused because you have to consider the following:

* One of your friends can't afford to rent a tux.

* You don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

* You don't know your future brother-in-law that well enough.

* You want someone who can take the stress and with dignity.

* Your budget cannot take on additional guys on board.

* You have to return favors for standing as a groomsmen for one of your friends.

As you look at the list and try to prune it to size, you are already feeling faint from the repercussion. But since it is your big day, your decision counts. You want the best people beside you when you make that important step in your life. Your family and friends should understand this. They owe you this. Finalize the list and make no excuses - the decision is yours.

To Be Practical or Emotional?

With all the wedding expenses, some things have to give and these could be the number of your groomsmen. Confronted with the problem, pare the number and choose the groomsmen according to the following criteria:

* Someone you're comfortable with.

* Someone who won't mind running around.

* Someone organized.

* Someone you can trust with the pre and post-wedding activities.

If your dearest friend cannot rent a tux for the occasion (probably he is between jobs), offer to rent the tux for him. This gesture will go a long way; a few hundred dollars will show how you much you care for your friend. Do this discreetly to avoid embarrassing your friend or making the others jealous of this gesture. You can make up by choosing meaningful groomsmen gifts for them.

In the matter of your brother-in-law, welcome him as your groomsman as this will secure your future relationship. Regarding your kid brother, ask him to usher the guests during the wedding ceremony and explain you need someone organized to assist you on your wedding day. He will take the hint.

To be practical means you have a budget to follow, and to be emotional is to nurture and strengthen relationships. You don't get married everyday, and on this important day of your life, make that important choice.