Rejection is a given - no matter how fabulous you are, you will at some point be rejected. What's not a given (and where your power lies) is how you react to rejection. Here are some tips to keep rejection in its place:
1.) Realize it's not about you. Let's face it, we all think we're the center of the universe. If someone turns us down for lunch, it must be because they don't want to be with us. We will disregard the other 43 possible explanations (they already had plans, a last minute meeting was called, they are broke and can't afford lunch, etc. etc. etc.). We are hardest on ourselves. Try again - maybe the timing simply wasn't right. Don't give up!
2.) Maybe your "prospect" doesn't have enough information. They don't know all your charms yet (because if they knew you, they'd love you!) or they don't have enough information about your company. Or your approach was wrong for them. Don't give up - on average it takes seven contacts to make a sale - I think this is true for building a relationship of any sort. It takes multiple contacts.
3.) If you have tried and tried again, maybe your rejecter was actually doing you a favor. Some clients are more trouble than they're worth. Some relationships bring more pain than joy. If someone doesn't value you after repeated exposures - move on to the next person. There are LOTS of prospects out there.
4.) Are you rejecting yourself? If you go into a sales call thinking "I know they won't be interested" or if you approach a potential date thinking "There's no way she'll go out with me," you've already rejected yourself and sealed your fate. Do you think your product is terrific or that anyone would be lucky to get to have lunch with you? If not, get to work! You have to feel great about you before anyone else will!
5.) You can't please all of the people all of the time. You can never be all things to all people. The trick in this life is to be yourself (not an easy task, most of us are trying to be what we think other people want). When you are completely yourself, you'll attract people who like you for you and you'll be much, much happier. Once you really know who you are (or what your product is) you'll understand who would be best suited for you. You can reduce rejection by dealing with people who are most likely to value what you have to offer. (Why waste your time trying to sell ice to Eskimos? Pick a better market!) I'll use myself as an example. I'm a high-energy, out-of-the-box, extrovert. I'm blunt (my friends say brutally honest) and I'm easily excited. This is WAY too much for some people. But if I try to be more demure, more calm and passive, I'll lose what makes me unique and what draws the right clients and friends to me.
If you can master being truly who you are, rejection is always a favor. It saves you from more pain down the road and frees you up to pursue better prospects. Just don't give up too soon and realize how incredible you are!
How To Deal With Rejection
And what about when women reject you or don't even give you a chance? Has this hurt you before even though other guys will tell you not to take it personally or to just 'keep on approaching and you'll get over it'?
Well I'm going to help you deal with this 'rejection' and set it more straight right now (for free).
What's really going on are many different things and on different levels.
I want you to be able to differentiate a woman's response to you so that you can understand it so that it doesn't hurt you or even affect you but rather that you can learn what hasn't been working and take advantage of what does work.
When a woman sees you for the first time, she is extrapolating every little detail about you to determine whether you might be a fit for her.
These usually accurate judgments she is making off of the smallest details about you will help protect her or open you up to having a chance with her.
In the future I will get deeply into getting yourself to the point where you are communicating that you are everything she could want even if you don't have the best looks or money, age, etc.
But for now, this data that she is judging off of you is either working for you or against you. You may have had women blow you off or flat out reject you after you approached and started talking or they never even gave you a chance before you approached.
Is this something you should take personally?
I don't want to give you a shallow answer, I want to give you the MEANING behind it; the schematics and reasoning so bear with me and it will be worth it.
Does a woman even know you when they she first sees you?
Then how can you possibly accept any kind of rejection?
Just because you approached her and she rejected you does not mean that you have a low character or are undesirable.
Does it?
Here's the bad news; some of the readers on this list may actually have a low character and the women ARE judging accurately (albeit without knowing more b/c they feel they don't need or want to find out more).
This can all be changed so that any man can not only more accurately portray more of what she is attracted to but actually BE that man in congruity.
The primary key is for him to get in touch with his own natural/ universal character and stop relying so much on his limited independent or social character.
The rest of the guys probably do have a higher independent or social character but just aren't being themselves when they approach a woman. They're using a pick-up persona or player front or they're just being a nice guy (overly nice and not their true self).
Otherwise they're just not in touch with their natural/universal character in order to spark attraction anyways.
Too many guys these days (and it's being taught) are focusing on the social and even independent (I'm a nice guy) parts of their character when it comes to attracting women.
This sets a man up for rejection because these two areas are the least important and are what women respond to the least when it comes to attraction and her wanting you; it's just really hard to see through it when women have become the rulers of the social 'matrix'.
Natural order is flipped around in our social behaviour patterns so you just have to see through all of the social influence and deal with her biology; the one thing that doesn't change and is what is the essence of what she desires that (healthy) men would realize.
So if you are focusing on your social 'pick up game' you're going to have to get real good at it and then because of your high character, the charts work in reverse so that eventually she may feel a spark of attraction. In other words:
You have to talk her into it and let her realize that you are a man of high character.
This takes longer because you started on the wrong end of the character continuum in your communication and portrayal of yourself to her.
Like I said it also sets you up for failure because you have to get all of the words just right and her temperance is wavering.
Hopefully this will help you understand why men are rejected more and perhaps yourself in the past sometimes. Understanding it is key to putting it in it's place and then changing to do the more effective things.
When you are a man of high natural/universal character and communicate this with your body language (often enough alone), the universal/natural part of the woman knows to respond to you and you don't have to use words.
She is prewired to know how to respond and be attracted to a man that has a strong connection to his universal/natural (which used to be almost all men but people were more localized then).
Today, very few men are in full touch with this and those that are, are the guys that are scoring the most with women. It's that simple.
When you can get in touch with the natural/universal power that is greater than you (and is your inheritance) you can have that power to create attraction (naturally) and make it a part of your own character...add it to your game and it will make ALL the difference.
You won't even have to deal with rejection anymore because you'll be able to read and communicate with women on the nonverbal level (the unspoken), that which was formerly invisible.
So back to the rejection issue...when a woman sees you and you aren't effectively communicating that you are a man of high character (either incongruently or because you just aren't there yet), she most likely won't give you a chance.
The key is to understand where you are on the character continuum.
If you ARE a great (nice) guy, then remember that she is just judging her initial impression of you. You may have a high independent character and be a great guy so just separate that from the fact that you were currently LOW on the natural/ universal part of your character and that is the part she was disapproving of, not YOU.
So don't take it personally. When you do develop a high character across the charts not only will you never have to deal with rejection again but when you play it by certain rules (your rules) SHE will be the one who is rejected or disqualifying herself to you and you will have the power by far.
You will always have the last word.
All you really have to have even if you have a low independent and social character/status is a strong connection to your natural ability (esp. if you aren't good looking, poor or are much older).
So if you've been focusing on the social character and using techniques and pick-up lines to develop your character to be able to pick a woman up...just consider working on your natural/ universal character instead; it's what matters so much that a woman will HELP you pick her up by giving the right signals when you do have a high character. You won't even need pick up lines then.
In fact it's not until recently that we actually had pick up lines or a need to study this. You just have to differentiate the forced reality from the natural, timeless reality of attraction and female response and separate out all of what doesn't matter (such as her fickle independent character when it comes to attraction and don't deal with it).
Prevent rejection and isolate the possibility of it by understanding the model magnet system and charts. She isn't rejecting you, she's just placing a perception onto you and judging you initially to see if you meet her expectational response/ideal.
I like to say;
She can't sleep with a man of low (m.m.) character just as much as you can't sleep with an ugly, fat chick.
And if you've taken one for the home team, that's about as often as she slept with a man of low character (despite his looks).
So make sure that you not only communicate the right things but BE the man of the highest character that you can.
It's more important than your social character/status or your own inner game and personality, it's about your connection to the universal power of masculinity and secure inner strength.
The feminine energy in her will rule over her fickle independent behavior and her body just may not be able to resist. This can all happen within a few seconds of her seeing you.
At this point women will be approaching you like crazy and throwing out all kinds of signs because this kind of man who is in touch is so rare these days. The works already cut out for you.
What would it be worth for you to turn the tables, never get rejected and live that kind of lifestyle with women no MATTER your looks, age, income or social status?
It's not a trick. It's real. And it's every man's inheritance but he has to embrace and accept it. I am the messenger because this power is greater than the greatest of any man in history's own independent character.
You don't have to be a superstar pick up character, you just have to be a man of (natural) character and you'll be able to catch women's interest just by walking in the room.
And when you're already spurring attraction in her and she can trust you by your body language, there's less of a chance you'll get rejected anyways.
And if you're living in a dominant reality where she is attracted to you and wants to be plus take the natural approach you can prevent rejection entirely.
Both Denise Ryan & Rion Williams are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Denise Ryan has sinced written about articles on various topics from Energy Healing, Cars and self improvement and motivation. Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger
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