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How To Get People To Do What You Want

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Here is what they'll do for you. They'll enable you to:



* Bypass the conscious filtering system in a person

* Covertly give instructions that will be carried out by the person

* Do your persuading on a unconscious level as well as conscious

* Dramatically increase your personal power by understanding how to access instant acceptance in the person you are communicating with.

Hidden outcome directives are: Commands that fit into the structure of a sentence without calling attention to their existence.

An example of this is as follows:

1. When you *learn this material* you will be able to *use it powerfully* and that will allow you to *feel good* about your increased sales.

From now on, whenever you write a hidden directive, underline it. This will be the standard that we will use. Note the example on this page, I put * before and after it!

Note that if you just read the commands of the example, they make sense on their own. This is communicating in multiple levels.

Another example of hidden outcome directives.

"I'm wondering *by now* if you can John, *feel great inside*, understanding the value of what you have learned so far and this is just the beginning?!"

I did several important things here that you should be aware of. First, I used the directive by (buy) now. This is called a phonological ambiguity.

In other words the mind translates that into all the possibilities of what that word sounds like and acts appropriately. Think then, about what using the word "know" might do in a sales presentation.

I also, in the above example used what is called a noun substitution. Reread the example above and leave out the name John. The meaning is still same, however adding the name makes the directive stronger because it focuses attention to the person.

You can put the name before or after the directive and still get the same results, You can't use this (adding someone's name before or after the directive) often because it will sound funny. You can use it occasionally though.

Here is a third example for you so you can begin to understand this even more as you read it.

Example:

I had a client come in the other day and ask me if I thought this would be a good product for him to buy. I told him "if you want a good investment by all means, *buy it*." I said, "*take my word*, it will do what you want." Finally I said, "you are the only one who can, *convince yourself* that its right. "Then I asked if he felt its right to go ahead and *get it*. He said it was. I get asked frequently for my advice and I would love to be of service in any way I can.

Now, when you look back over the three examples that you were given you'll note that they follow a specific format. Each one used a different structure for embedding commands. Write down the structures here.

Example 1 used commands in a sentence format. Example 2 used commands in a question format. Example 3 used commands in a quotation format A command goes down at the end regardless of the sentence structure. That is what makes it so powerful!

Analogical Marking- Analogical marking is a fancy way of describing the way in which hidden directives are marked off verbally or written to draw attention to them unconsciously.

Here are the different ways you can mark off commands:

A. *Pause before and after giving the command*

B. *Change your tone (deeper or higher) while giving the command*

C. *Increase or decrease your volume when giving the command*

D. Make a specific motion when giving the command

E. Anything that "marks off" the command

** Letters A,B and C are the most powerful when used together, to mark off a directive.

Remember- You always naturally unconsciously "mark off" when you speak, act and think. It may be important to begin to make the decision to "mark off" consciously to achieve your outcomes.

Think of it this way- Most people remember very little of what was said or done. What you "mark off" may leave the deepest impression. To do this right you must exaggerate it.
How To Get People To Do What You Want
Suspicious?

Don't worry, I'm not about to suggest any mind control techniques!

In fact, I'm going to suggest something quite the opposite. But first, let me explain why this article is about "getting people to give you what you want."

Well, the truth is, no matter what you do for a living - whether you're self-employed, run a business, manage people or work for someone else -- you need OTHER PEOPLE'S HELP to get ahead.

Whether it's getting customers to buy, managers to promote you or give you a pay rise, colleagues to help you... much of your success -- however you define it -- depends on persuading people to give you what you want.

So how do you do it?

You know what I'm about to say, right?

Yes, that's right: to get others to give you what you want, you must first give them what THEY want.

But within that simple statement are some critical distinctions.

Firstly, you need to find out what that someone else REALLY wants. This may or may not be obvious... and it may not be what they say they want!

Here's a clue: focus on the BENEFIT they're seeking, rather than the MEANS by which they think they'll get that benefit. In many cases, a different means is just as (if not more) effective to delivering the benefit they want.

Which is just as well, because you may only be able to deliver the benefit through an alternative means.

Your next "task" is to identify whether you can -- and are willing -- to provide what this person wants. Will the "cost" of you providing it be too much (greater than the benefit you'll gain)?

Or is it no sweat at all?

Finally, you need to be able to COMMUNICATE to the other person that if they give you what you want, you'll give them what they want.

This "persuasive communication" (otherwise known as good, old-fashioned SELLING) firstly requires you to communicate in a way that the person UNDERSTANDS. (NOT how you "think" they'll understand.)

So you need to use the language they understand best -- not just in terms of "speaking language", but also in terms of using sensory cues (e.g. diagrams, sounds, etc), and explanatory "techniques" (e.g. stories, examples, etc) that appeal to them.

Secondly, you need to be PERSUASIVE. This involves appealing to the person's emotional triggers, motivations, beliefs, attitudes, values and sense of logic.

A lot of selling and negotiation training programs focus on "persuasion." And rightly so. But you can probably see that YOU'LL ONLY BE PERSUASIVE if:

-- You know what the person really wants;

-- You can (and are willing to) give it to them; and

-- You communicate clearly (so they understand).

So that's all there is to getting people to give you what you want!

Okay, okay, I never said it was easy ;-) But it is effective -- you just need to patiently and diligently discover what your "prospect" truly wants; decide that you can and will provide this to them; and communicate that you will give them what they want if they give you what you want through clear and persuasive communication.
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Anna Johnson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Generation Y, Careers and Job Hunting and Careers and Job Hunting. Anna Johnson is the author of the How To Manage People System, including her book, How To Manage People (Even If You're A Control Freak!). Get Anna's FREE 12-page report. Anna Johnson's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
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