Practice being in a crowded room and standing by yourself in the corner?
Practice feeling awkward?
Practice being nervous around others?
Practice walking up to a group of people with absolutely no idea of what to say?
If that's what I had to "practice" every time I went out, I doubt I'd be going anywhere anytime soon. Being told to practice without any ideas or techniques on what to do is like being handed a sheet of paper and a pen and told to write out a story without first learning how to spell.
Going out, being with a bunch of people, going to social events - these are the places to practice. Knowing how to interact while you're there is what to practice.
This really hit me when I was having dinner with a friend a few weeks ago and she was talking about an upcoming conference she was planning on attending. She could already feel the butterflies flitting about her stomach at the thought of entering the conference hall, yet she desperately wanted to network and meet influential people in her industry.
She kept asking, "What should I say?" and "What should I do?" It wouldn't have been much help to tell her to "go out and practice" her social skills at a few less significant events in the days between our dinner and the conference. Sure, it would have been another good step as part of the process, but certainly not the first and only one. Instead, we covered various techniques and did some role playing so she'd understand how easy it really is to interact with others - when you have an idea of what to do.
Most often, social skills were learned naturally and subtly while we were growing up and were basically unnoticed in our day-to-day lives. However, there are a lot of us who weren't taught social skills, aside from saying "please," "thank you" and remembering to keep our elbows off the table during dinner.
Social skills are just that - skills. Skills have to be learned somehow, be they writing skills, swimming skills, driving skills, language skills or {fill in the blank}. You name the skill and chances are that it'll have to be learned.
Practice breaking away from your comfort zone and being with other people is the implementation step of learning good social skills. The first step is to find out what are the skills to practice so you're more likely to be successful in social situations.
How To Improve Social Skills
The stronger the relationship can get, the happier the future. But how can we get strong relationships to lead us to a happier future? You can attain stronger relationships in only one way and that is by improving your social skill.
The best Ways to improve social skill:
1.Effective communication leads to a better understanding of and better interaction with your fellowmen. Though this may get difficult and take a little more of your extra time, you will benefit from it eventually.
2.Stay focused in group situations, whether it be in conferences at work or even just a simple talk with your friends. Try to focus on what is being discussed rather than bring up past discussions. You can be more productive when you try talking about new ideas rather than topics which had been discussed before.
3.Listening carefully to the subject matter at hand will lead you to a deeper understanding of the topic. Some people intend to listen but somehow their minds are caught up with something else. Some people may try to prevent you from paying attention while listening because they tend to blurt out their thoughts even before the speaker finishes expressing his opinion. Try to listen whole heartedly and you will end up being more knowledgeable about the subject at hand.
4.Always try to understand the point of view of the speaker, rather than focusing on just your own. Most people want to be heard and understood. Try to put yourself on the receiving end of the message and see how you would feel if you were talking and nobody seems to listen to your words. Receiving facts from the speaker with wholehearted acceptance will result in complete understanding of his message.
5.When people try to criticize your point of view, try to understand them as well. Have empathy for your listeners as much as possible. It is very important to be thankful for people, regardless of how they might react, and to respond with grace. At least you know they are listening to you.
6.Show maturity during discussions. Do not let immature reactions from other people get in the way of the way you think. Admitting your faults will set up a good example for others and may inspire them to respond in the same way as you did. When you take responsibility for your actions, you can make that a strength, not a weakness.
7.Refrain from blaming others for their mistakes. In the end, you will be fostering better understanding between you and your peers.
8.Instead of trying to win every argument, try to find solutions to meet the needs of all. You could compromise with others or find new solutions that will give everyone what they want in the end. Eventually, people will follow your way of thinking if it is the right one.
9.Never give up when you know you are right though. Some discussions require mutual respect between you and the people you talk to. Other discussions may end up with you losing, but when you know you are in the right, fight for your point of view.
These steps are very important to follow because by going through the process of following them, you are honing your social skills. Ultimately, you will find that you are progressing as you attempt to improve social skill.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
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