Concerns over money are one of the most common causes of worry. There is no longer really such a thing a job for life and many people worry about how they will be able to afford to live and pay their bills if they lose their job. Fear of the unknown is another common cause of worry. Many people stay in a job they hate or continue to work for a boss they feel treats them badly simply because they are worried about trying something different and new. Some people stay in an unhappy or destructive relationship (and sometimes much worse) just because it is familiar and they are worried about stating out again, or being on their own. Other people are so worried about the failure of previous relationships that they consciously or subconsciously prevent themselves getting involved in a new relationship.



Our worries can affect us in different degrees. Some things may only surface from time to time and not really have much impact on our life. At the other end of the spectrum, worries can be there constantly. Some people can become so worried about something that they can't sleep, or make themselves sick, or become completely immobilised and unable to function. In these more extreme cases, one may become so confused and overwhelmed that it becomes impossible to see any way out.

If you find yourself reaching the point where you are worrying so much about something that it is affecting your ability to think clearly or rationally, there are some actions you can take that may help to clear and ease your mind.

The first thing is to be aware that an enormous amount of time and energy is wasted worrying about things that are highly unlikely to ever come about. Most of us would admit to having our moments when we get all worked up about something of little importance and make mountains out of molehills. What would you say to a friend or family member if they told you they were worrying about the thing troubling you?

Try to think back to times in your life when you were just as worried about something else that you considered then to be just as serious as what you are worried about now. Did what you feared even happen? If it did happen, were the results anywhere near as bad as you were expecting?

If you're like me, you can probably think about some such times and laugh about them now. In the scheme of things, many things we get worked up about turn out to be pretty insubstantial.

If you're still sure you worry is justified, you really should then try to deal with it. One of the worst things about worry is that fears can become self fulfilling prophesies. Never forget that you attract what you think about most of the time, and unfortunately this works just as well for the things that you don't want as it does for the things that you do want.

Try these steps. First you should clarify exactly what is worrying you, be absolutely clear about the source of your worries. This means cutting through the conflicting thoughts running around your mind that can cloud your judgement to reach the real cause of your worry. There may be lots of related issues but there will usually be one main issue triggering all the others.

This should clear your mind of most of the emotional fog and make you more focussed.

Next, ask yourself what is the worst possible thing that could happen if the thing you fear did occur.

More often than not, you will find that the consequences are in reality not a matter of life and death, and nowhere near as serious as you thought they were.

At this point, even if you are worrying about something that you feel you can do nothing about, just recognising and accepting the worst possible outcome should make you feel better.

However, clarifying the main cause of worry and accepting the worst case scenario can also do much, much more. It will allow you to think much more clearly and may even allow you to step back and look at the problem almost from an external position, as if you are looking in at the problem from the outside. By removing or minimising the emotional element, you can now analyse the situation more rationally. You can now use the energy and effort you were using worrying, to come up with possible solutions and ways around the problem that you probably couldn't even consider previously. You may find well that you even come up with ways to resolve what you thought was an impossible situation, or something totally beyond your control.

We all have our problems and reasons to worry, but they are rarely anywhere near as serious as we think they are. How many of the things you were worried sick about a year ago, even if they did happen, mean anything to you or anyone else today? Even serious problems will be much easier to deal with if we can identify the real source of our worry, and the worst thing that can happen if it ever comes to be. This will also help to give us the clarity of mind and energy to concentrate on solutions, rather than wasting valuable time and effort worrying.

'Troubles are a lot like people - they grow bigger if you nurse them.' - Author Unknown