In one of my prior motivational stories, I talked with you about getting rid of the word "CAN'T" from your vocabulary. To me, "can't" is the one of the most disempowering words known to humankind. In this story, I'd like to inspire you to get rid of your big "BUT". Of course, I am not talking about the "BUT" that fills out the backside of your exercise shorts, trousers, undergarments or skirt. I am referring to the grammatical word that is used to introduce something that is true, in spite of contradicting and negating everything that was said before it.
On your quest for success, communication is critical. Without high-quality communication with the people that you relate to on a daily basis, whether they are at your place of business or your social circle, you can not be successful.
Those who communicate best are the ones that are the most successful. Poor communication affects the way others perceive, understand and react to you. When you are a person who uses the "BUT" in your conversations everyday, it acts just like a double-edged sword in that it can make you appear to others in one of these two ways.
Here's my Meaning #1 of how you misuse the word "But"...
When you use the word "But" in ways such as these in the examples below, you contradict yourself and run the risk of being viewed as one who does not get the job done and makes excuses.
Here are some examples that you may have used in either your professional or personal life:
"I would have been on time to the meeting, BUT I lost track of time".
"I wish I was more successful, BUT I never had the chance to go to university or college".
"I wish I was thinner, in better shape, weighed 20 pounds less, etc, BUT I have no time to exercise".
I think you get the idea. As a person who wants to be seen as successful, motivated and determined, you do not want to give others the impression of one who makes excuses.
Here's my Meaning #2 of how you might misuse the word "But"...
When you use "But" in ways such as in these examples it can make you look and sound negative. If you have people working for / reporting to you, it can certainly demoralize and disempower your team.
For instance:
"I liked your presentation, BUT we have never done that before".
"We made progress, BUT we are still short of the business plan".
"Thanks for the shirt / tie, BUT it is not my color".
By now you may be asking (here's the deep radio announcer-type voice), "well what word should I use that does not make me appear as one who makes excuses or is perceived as negative?"
Let's take one example from each meaning above to illustrate a positive, powerful, proactive approach.
"I would have been on time to the marketing and sales meeting, AND I apologize for losing track of time. I commit to being on time to the meeting from this point forward."
"I liked your presentation, AND we have never done that before. Let's work together to ensure that we have all of the resources we need to be successful".
By using the positive word "AND" with careful selection of the dialogue that follows you can turn a negative situation into a plus.
Remember my saying that "Every action you take or make, no matter how big or how small, defines everything that you do in life". Look at any of the successful people that you know and study the way that they communicate. You will see that through their words and tonality what comprises their formula for success. Take action today and get rid of your big BUT.
If You Get In The Way
Set the Right Goal for Your Own Happiness
When you set a goal make sure that it is a goal that you want to achieve not a goal that you are setting because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Ask yourself if achieving that goal will really enhance your life or not. For example, so many people end up in a profession that they don't like because they are following their parents' goal or their teacher's goal for their life.
Look at the goals that you have set in the past and see if there is a pattern of setting goals that you truly want or if you have been setting other peoples' goals.
Start Working Toward Your Goal Immediately Whether You Are Ready to or Not
The worse thing you can do is not to start working toward that goal immediately that you set it. If you are waiting until you are prepared then you are trying to force the goal and you are fighting against nature.
Just start. Follow your intuition and do whatever comes into your mind as a starting step. You can refine what you are doing as you go. If however you try to preplan the entire process then you are not allowing the flexibility required to respond to what is actually happening in the world. Forcing it doesn't work. The best way to start is to just start.
Have Total Faith that You Will Achieve Your Goal
Have total faith that the universe will provide you with all the opportunity that you need in order to achieve your goal. Have total faith that your goal will actually become a reality for you.
Most people don't really believe that they will get their goals; they hope that they will get them. Hope will not do it. Hope is not enough. In fact hope is the worst thing that you can have, because when you hope for something there is always an underlying belief that it won't actually happen.
Hope is a belief that you will have to go against all probability in order to achieve it. People hope that they will win money but they don't. People hope that their life will get better but it doesn't. People hope that they will meet mister or miss right but they never do.
Develop faith by spending 5 to 10 minutes, 3 times each day, building an image in your mind of you actually living your goal.
Open Your Mind to Receiving Guidance and Help
Keep your mind open to the idea that the opportunities that you will need are going to show up in your life. Then when the opportunity does come along make sure that you take it. Learn to recognize what opportunity actually looks like. Realize that sometimes opportunity comes to you disguised as a problem or difficulty.
Keep your mind open to the idea that the teachers you need will show up in your life and when they do make sure that you learn from them. Accept that you may have to pay for these lessons, you may have to enroll in courses or seminars or coaching or mentoring. You may have to buy and read books or buy and listen to audio programs.
Observe the Outcomes of Your Activity
Follow your intuition but keep an eye on what the outcomes of your actions are. If the outcomes are not taking you closer to your goals then modify your actions. As I said earlier, each step along the road to success cannot be preplanned. Take your step and they see where it is taking you. You may wander to the left or to the right of the correct path but if you keep your eyes open then you won't go far off track before you make a course correction.
In Conclusion
Remember and use this five step formula; set the right goals, start working toward them immediately, have total faith that you will achieve them, keep your mind open to guidance and help, and observe your outcomes.
Both Keith Shaw & James Delrojo are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
James Delrojo has sinced written about articles on various topics from Outsourcing, Self Improvement and Motivation and Health. James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you hisebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind" (valued at $27) completely FREE. Go to
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