With all the media available today, raising children with strong values is certainly a challenge. Young people are receiving a wider diversity of information and images much faster than ever. Still, it is possible to raise children with the strong values and morals that you want them to have and that will stay with them throughout their lives.



It's possible that you may be a bit confused about just what family values are and how you instill them in your children. That's okay because it's likely you just haven't given any deep thought to them.

Why? Because you have them! They're usually what your parents and educators taught you when you were a child. This means that you are living your family values, even as we speak.

To help get to the heart of the essentials regarding family values, here are 5 tips to help.

1. Know Thyself. Before you can teach someone else what you believe, you need to know yourself. Asking yourself questions such as ?Which is more important to me, money or job satisfaction?? and ?How important is education to me?? will start you down the road to discovering what you value most?and what you don't.

2. Be Aware of What You Say. Once you have a firmer understanding of what you truly value, remember that you the way you speak has tremendous power over your children, especially when they're young. If they hear you demean something or praise, say, top brands all the time, you can expect them to do the same. It will just come naturally.

3. Watch Not Just Your Words, But Your Actions. One of the most overwhelming aspects of being a parent is to know that you are setting an example for your children. It's a full-time job and one you need to be vigilant about. If you often, for example, decide to give yourself a day off in the middle of the week, don't be surprised to when the principal calls to tell you that your son or daughter isn't in school?they're skipping. Consistency in your own behavior is the best?and worst?way you instill family values in your children. It's a little scary, isn't it? It doesn't have to be, just be mindful that your children learn by watching you. A fall or slip once in awhile won't hurt, I promise.

4. Discipline. Effective discipline isn't about whether to spank or not spank, it's about setting limits and meaning it. When children cross your family value line, it will do them good to spend time correcting the problem or reflecting on what they did wrong. Remember that most of us learn best not by doing something right, but by doing it wrong. 5. Set Your Priorities and Reinforce Them As Often As Possible. Just don't do this so often that your children start saying ?No, not the lecture! Not the lecture, Mom!? as a friend of mine's kids do practically every time she says something. Over-doing may actually be worse than under-doing in this case, so reinforce your family values often enough that your kids get the message, but not to the point that they don't even listen.

Just one more thought, when it comes to defining your family values. Teach your children the basic Golden Rule of treating people as they would want to be treated, and you will give them a firm moral foundation that will last a lifetime.

Copyright 2006 Pat Brill