My husband and I have been on a journey of learning and discovery during the past several years. We have attended excellent seminars, and learned many things from some outstanding mentors and coaches. Some of the things we learned include: the importance of continuing to learn, grow and having coaches/mentors along our journey; the importance of applying our new found knowledge and how challenging that can sometimes be; and how much our words and thoughts play a big role in how we feel, how we see the world, and what we believe about ourselves, others and our future.



The more we learn, the more we realize there is so much more to learn!

One of my most powerful learnings was that our brain sees in "pictures". Our brain changes everything we hear into pictures. (I used to tell people a way to remember my name, Robin Bair, is to think of a big grizzly bear with a Robin red-breast bird sitting on its shoulder. This gave them a silly picture to remember my name with and it usually worked!)

Here's an example of what I mean. Have you ever told a child: "Don't run" or "Don't hit your brother"? Generally speaking, they don't stop doing it instantly. Why not? I have learned this past year that there are some words the brain does not have a picture for ? words like don't, not, no, can't, etc. Since their brain does not register the word don't (a negative word), in essence you are actually telling the child "TO run" or "TO hit your brother" which was not what you'd intended at all! What's the solution'to rephrase the sentence and tell the child what you want them TO do.

I experimented with this concept recently with one of one of our eight grandchildren who is a real climber and daredevil, just like her mother. I'd find her standing on the folding chairs or table in the kitchen. My first response was to say, "Don't climb on the chair/table", and of course, she would continue anyway, with a sparkle in her eye. Changing my wording to "Sit on the chair" or "Stay off the table" had amazing results. At first she'd look at me, but when I repeated the statement more firmly it worked! She stopped!

Another good example of this concept is when you remind yourself or someone else: "Don't forget to ?" What usually happens? That's right, usually you/they forget to do whatever. But you can change the outcome by changing the sentence to "Remember to?" It's really that simple. It's amazing how using a positive, what TO do statement will assist your listener in seeing the picture you really want them to see.

The most challenging part in learning this lesson is changing how I word what I say on a daily basis. Our words are VERY important! Imagine how different your life will be by simply practicing this one concept, which is telling children and others what you want them TO do and eliminate the negative, which is something we want to do in all parts of our life!

I have learned many more things. Because of our new understanding of how words work, we have become more kind and loving towards each other and ourselves. Remember, the words we speak and the pictures those words create are very important. I think this concept is a great one to start practicing in your own life today. So start practicing painting positive pictures today!