We are all running from here to there, trying to hold down a job, look after the family and keep the house going with little or no time for our marriages or quality family life. More and more marriage problems have developed off the back of our hectic living purely as a result of having no time to relax and nurture our relationships.



There comes a time when you have to say enough is enough and I'm not talking about ending your marriage but feeding it and looking after it so that your relationship develops and grows into something that is very special which is what marriage should be all about. Most marriage problems shouldn't be seen as the beginning of the end but purely as a wake up call, an indication that the long term neglect has to come to an end.

If you're marriage is suffering and the tell tell signs of marriage problems have set in then now is the time to evaluate the quality time you spend together, which I would hazard a guess and say is very little if any at all, and take positive action to ensure the gradual decline in your marriage isn't left to continue.

Everyone is different and everyone's idea of a relaxing and enjoyable time is different but you must resurrect that enjoyable common interest or develop new ones if you want to eliminate your marriage problems and enable your relationship to survive.

As we grow older we change, so what we liked at the start of our marriage isn't necessarily what we like to do now but as we change we need to ensure that we adapt and not just stop spending time together but find new interests and do different things together. And the key word here is together. You mustn't just do things to keep your partner happy, that wouldn't solve any of your marriage problems you have to ensure that you both enjoy what you do. If you are having fun, you relax and if you relax your learn to enjoy each others company again and start to redevelop that magic that existed at the very beginning.

I have changed dramatically over the years but my relationship has changed with me. Our far more active lifestyle has been toned down and while we still find ourselves constantly on the go we now enjoy some inactive quality time together sitting on the patio with a drink in our hands watching birds, rabbits, squirrels and the fish in our pond. It doesn't always have to be about excitement and fun, marriage is about feeling special and knowing you're special even when there is no time to show it. Loose that bond and there is little basis for a marriage which is when the marriage problems start to set it.

Take time each day, even if it's just a few minutes at the end of the day, to relax together. If your spare time is limited you have to make sure that the majority of that time is spent together. If you say now that you have no spare time, then that must mean for any relationship and this decision I'm sure you will regret. Just think about it, spending no time together is like living with a stranger or at very best a flat mate who you would have no feelings for, it's a disaster waiting to happen. If you carry on neglecting your marriage how can it ever survive your marriage problems and if you neglect this one the odds are you will neglect the next and the next.

Marriage problems often grow from a lack of understanding but how can you be expected to understand someone who you spend very little time with and the time you do spend together is within a highly stressful environment. Believe me when I say you have to learn to make that special time for your marriage and if you leave it too long you might just be too late!