If we're being honest, there's nothing quite as intimidating as having to meet the parents of your girlfriend for the first time. Make no mistake; you are being judged on your performance and fair or not, this first impression will be the basis of their thoughts about you for some time to come. If you make a good first one, then you'll be in for smooth sailing. If things don't quite go as planned (or hoped) then you will have to depend on time to wear away that first impression and replace it with a more accurate portrait of who you are. Let's go over some crucial tips that you can use in order to tip the scales in your favor.



Meet with them on their own home turf

Given the choice, you might opt for a neutral location like a restaurant the first time you meet her parents, but the parents usually pick and they usually pick their own house. If you live out of town and it's going to be an event that lasts for a few days, avoid staying in the same room as your girlfriend. Her parents might not say anything, but it would be uncomfortable for everyone involved and the underlying difficulties could taint the meet.

* Meeting her parents on their ground will automatically mean they are in their comfort zone. This makes it easier to create a good impression because outside influences that might make them less comfortable are eliminated ipso facto.

Get ready to talk (and listen) !

Don't fall into the trap of talking to your girlfriend's parents with the same familiarity you talk to your girlfriend. This is a major mistake many guys make in trying to make the meeting too casual. Also be sure to watch out for those "uncomfortable silences" of Pulp Fiction fame. They may be comfortable between you and your girlfriend, but not with her parents.

* Find out what professional fields her parents are in. Find out other basic stuff in the family background, like what her brothers and sisters do for a living. Make sure you find out where her dad went to college (if he did) and any hobbies either of her parents pursue. Once you find out, do a little research on what you find out if you are not familiar with the area. Don't pretend as if you pursue it in conversation, but be able to ask questions that leave room for a long answer.

* Avoid potentially "hot" topics. Leave out politics, religion, and lifestyle until everyone is more comfortable with each other. Backing the wrong side of an argument here could color their opinion of you for life.

The Event

When it comes to the actual meeting, there are a few things that you can do to make sure they are predisposed towards accepting you.

* Focus on mom! Don't lay it on too thick, but the one you really want to impress here is your girlfriend's mom. If you haven't realized it for yourself, it's the female in the relationship that forms the opinions of the couple. No matter how hard he is trying, there is always going to be a little spot in her dad's heart that wants you to go away (you'll understand this when you have a daughter). Being accepted by his wife is the first step in making this go away (and given time, it will).

* At their house: Get ready to do some chores. Don't wait to be asked. It's little things that really matter here; if the garbage can is at the curb, bring it in. If there is a newspaper on the doorstep, give it to the parents on entry into the house. Offer to help with the dishes, and at the very least help clear the table.

* Gifts: Flowers for mom and wine for dad are almost always acceptable, and a great way to break the ice. You might even go further and personalize the gifts a little to their individual tastes, but don't go too far or you may appear silly.

* Bonus: Don't tell your girlfriend!!! She'll love it if you surprise her by getting gifts for her parents and not telling her about it.

Meeting the parents for the first time does not have to be a bad experience at all. In fact, when handled right, it can lay the foundation for great relationships with everyone, and an improved one between you and your girlfriend. Always be respectful, do a little preparation, and odds are you will not be found lacking.