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Military Humor And Jokes

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Ho Ho Ho ! It's the holidays?time for some fun, jokes and healthy humor, for good ol? Santa's coming to town to keep you on the razzle and let you jingle all the way ! And guess who's there with Santa to paint the town red this Christmas ? It's none other than Rudolph, Santa's favorite reindeer ! You know, he's been really run off his feet gearing up for Christmas and helping Santa get his act together. Now, everything's in apple-pie order?the sleigh's all shiny and ready for take off and so is the roly-poly jolly old man with his BIG bag of gifts and goodies ! But while he's busy delighting the kiddos, why don't you do your bit and spread some holiday humor ? It's a carnival calling and you of course don't need a reason to send Christmas jokes and share some fun. So here follow some Christmas jokes to have your friends and folks rolling in all the humor. Make them LOL with these:

Christmas Present

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend ?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him ?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it."

The Three Wise Men

In a small southern town there was a ?Nativity Scene? that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.

The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a ?Quik Stop? on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible !" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said ?See, it says right here, the three wise man came from afar.?

Christmas Eve Accident

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas ?"

"They're Carol's."

Reindeer

According to the Alaskan Department of Fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.

We should've known ! Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and NOT GET LOST.

More Christmas Humor, Jokes And Riddles

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

ANS: The letter ?D?.

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs ?

ANS: Anything you want. He can't hear you !

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole ?

ANS: Lost.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up ?

ANS: Santa of course, because the other two don't exist !

What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn ?

ANS: She had mittens.

What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes ?

ANS: A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)

What's red and white and red and white and red and white ?

ANS: Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous ?

ANS: Holly-wood.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean ?

ANS: Because snow man is an island.

What do you call one who is afraid of Santa Claus ?

ANS: Claus-trophobic.

Military Humor And Jokes

In the days of old, men, women and children sat around a fire or under a tree listening to an elder of the village tell them stories. Fast track to the couple of centuries later, the women and children are still getting entertained but the medium is no longer human. Its this black box or if you are at the higher end of the food chain, a flat screen which keeps children quiet and gives parents the breathing space they need.

Story telling has always been a means to engage people and though the times have changed and the medium has changed from human to machine, the means is still the same. Tell an interesting story anytime and you will have listeners. Be it a business presentation, a marketing pitch or a television show. A personal story is on top of the favourites list, everyone loves to hear somebody else's personal story. Telling a story and telling it well, add a dash of humor and you have a winner.

So why am I writing an article about this black box which is also popularly known as the "idiot box"? The truth of the matter is, the idiot box has some competition. Its called the YouTube.

YouTube has revolutionized the internet in many ways. Anything from having a sneak peak of a movie or some parts of a favorite soap opera or even better, make fun of a colleague.

YouTube has been recognized as one of the high visibility places which people frequent often. So here are some tips on ways to put humor in your video:

1.Have some fun music which lightens up the mood

2.Visualize a funny moment in your life at the time of creating the video

3.Have a joke or an amusing anecdote ready

4.Do you have any funny props?

5.Draw eyes on your chin and talk into the camera upside down

6.Just laugh, spread the happiness

7.Do some juggling

8.Do you have a funny ad you like? Try to take out what got you to laugh in the first place

9.End the video with a punch line (music or words)

10.Try out 2 microphones, so viewers can experience it when you talk in the right side and the left one

There is a video of a going away party of a colleague where they collected photos of the poor guy from the time he joined the company, party photographs, golfing with his belly popping out and several others which at best can be described as embarrassing. With a toe tapping sound track, this was converted into a hilarious invitation that provided the whole company something to laugh and talk about in the coming weeks preceding the lunch invitation.

Another funny video or I must say creepy video is that of a virtual barber shop where they used sound effects using a right microphone and a left microphone. So when you have your headphones on and listen to it, you feel like the clippers are close to your ears and the sound of the scissors go clippity clip. The barber also talks to you and the sound of water when he is washing his hands are eerily real.

So with some creativity and dollops of humor, you can get potential customers through laughter. It gives them a good feeling and helps you bond and establish a feeling of trust.

If you want to build a good client base and generate more sales, humor helps you connect with people. Of the numerous videos that I have seen, only a few remain with me. And I have realized that those were the ones that made me laugh.

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About Author

Both Sean Carter & Kathy Austin are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Sean Carter has sinced written about articles on various topics from Vegetarian Diet, Basketball and Wedding Bells. Sean Carter writes on holidays, and world events. He also writes on family, relationships, Christmas, religion, love and friendship. He i. Sean Carter's top article generates over 450000 views. to your Favourites.

Kathy Austin has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sports Car, Join the Army and Home Based Business. Kathy Austin specializes in web sites. Watch a hilarious Youtube video clipby. Kathy Austin's top article generates over 60500 views. to your Favourites.

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