Ho Ho Ho ! It's the holidays?time for some fun, jokes and healthy humor, for good ol? Santa's coming to town to keep you on the razzle and let you jingle all the way ! And guess who's there with Santa to paint the town red this Christmas ? It's none other than Rudolph, Santa's favorite reindeer ! You know, he's been really run off his feet gearing up for Christmas and helping Santa get his act together. Now, everything's in apple-pie order?the sleigh's all shiny and ready for take off and so is the roly-poly jolly old man with his BIG bag of gifts and goodies ! But while he's busy delighting the kiddos, why don't you do your bit and spread some holiday humor ? It's a carnival calling and you of course don't need a reason to send Christmas jokes and share some fun. So here follow some Christmas jokes to have your friends and folks rolling in all the humor. Make them LOL with these:

Christmas Present

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend ?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him ?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it."

The Three Wise Men

In a small southern town there was a ?Nativity Scene? that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.

The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a ?Quik Stop? on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible !" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said ?See, it says right here, the three wise man came from afar.?

Christmas Eve Accident

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas ?"

"They're Carol's."

Reindeer

According to the Alaskan Department of Fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.

We should've known ! Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and NOT GET LOST.

More Christmas Humor, Jokes And Riddles

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

ANS: The letter ?D?.

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs ?

ANS: Anything you want. He can't hear you !

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole ?

ANS: Lost.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up ?

ANS: Santa of course, because the other two don't exist !

What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn ?

ANS: She had mittens.

What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes ?

ANS: A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)

What's red and white and red and white and red and white ?

ANS: Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous ?

ANS: Holly-wood.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean ?

ANS: Because snow man is an island.

What do you call one who is afraid of Santa Claus ?

ANS: Claus-trophobic.