Many have expressed concerns that they do not "internally" see themselves as attractive and thus are driven compulsively to make physical adjustments or alterations that often cost thousands of dollars.
What is shocking to these women is that even after the honeymoon phase these measures still do not yield for them the hoped for new self (body) image.
So what is the real problem here?
Well it is an internal emotionally driven issue that is not being addressed by the physical approaches used to address them. Maxwell Maltz M.D. aptly addressed this problem years ago in his book "Psychocybernetics". Dr. Maltz, a plastic surgeon with years of experience helping women improve themselves recognized, much to his credit, that the problems were often emotionally based, and strove to address them more directly. In my view it is rare for a "physically oriented" physician to see the emotional roots that often underlie a physical problem. Dr. Maltz was one such extraordinary physician.
During my years as a psychiatrist I was acutely aware of this body image problem but also found that many of the psychotherapeutic modalities I employed were not getting at the root of it either.
During this time I began to realize that the problem was hidden deep in the unconscious mind of individuals and it needed to literally be uprooted and released. During a girl's life she is bombarded consciously and unconsciously of what the "perfect" woman body image is supposed to be by such things as the toys she plays with, the messages sent to her by older women, by the entreaties or lack therefore sent by men, the advertising messages from magazines, books and television and many others. What's more these messages are forever changing and evolving in the collective consciousness out there.
All of these messages are subliminally imprinted within the unconscious mind of girls and women and serve as a reference point for what they are "supposed" to look and be like.
Unfortunately what this does is that it attempts to over-ride and devalue them at their core. This implanted information becomes like a negative internal judge that is constantly berating the essence of that woman. As it does this even if she attempts to achieve this strived for "ideal image" she will do so at the expense of her true authentic self.
By negating herself she will never be able to feel good about herself, in spite of her "achievement".
The mistake then made is to repeatedly ignore this and return to more physical measures to get satisfaction.
There is an effective way to literally release this negative self-negating unconscious programming called the Mind Resonance ProcessÒ (MRP). MRP works by uncovering and uninstalling it in the same way that a defective computer program is removed from the hard drive of a computer. The process involves a simple analysis of one's beliefs and has been found to have permanent results. If this inspires you kindly visit the link below for a complimentary telephone consultation.
Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is an International Life, Executive, Organizational Tele-Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker, Trainer and Facilitator who lives in Toronto, Canada. He is also on Faculty at Akamai University in Hawaii. He is the CEO and Founder of Arrizza Performance Coaching Inc. and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).
Negative Body Image Media
While I watched his interview on Oprah, I couldn’t help but think of new moms. Staring at one’s baby pooch can be flat out depressing, squelching any kind of desire to get naked with one’s husband. Yet it’s still important to re-engage sexually with your husband. And a big part of that is about overcoming a negative body image in bed.
In their excellent book, Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex, authors Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus have a chapter titled, “Where Can I Go to Buy a New Body?" Can you relate? They asked 25 friends of their friends if they were satisfied with their bodies. Every single one of them said no. They claimed to be too tall or too short, too fat or too skinny.
Today’s woman has bought into the lie that she has to look like a Victoria Secret model to be sexy. But being a great lover in bed has more to do with your attitude than your measurements.
So what can a new mother do to overcome her disdain for her body, and celebrate lovemaking with her husband, even if the lights are on?
1. Remember that your husband loves you and your body. Dr. John Gray, author of Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, says “When a man is in love and turned on by his wife, he is also totally entranced by the feminine beauty of her body, regardless of where the media would rank it on a scale of one to ten."
2. Change your attitude from “me centered" to “he centered." Put your husband first. Don’t fixate on your insecurities. Instead think of how you can please him. When you take the spotlight off yourself and put it on your spouse, you forget about your imperfections.
3. Avoid the dangers of pornography. 40 million adults in the US regularly visit Internet porn sites. Pornography is a major problem in families today, dividing husbands and wives sexually and emotionally. Moms, don’t allow your insecurity about your body to stand in the way of meeting your husband’s sexual needs.
When you offer your body to your spouse out of love, it doesn’t matter what shape or size you are. Be encouraged – it is possible to be sexy in bed after baby. And don’t worry about the extra love handles. They will come off in time with some work on your part. For now, concentrate on your attitude. Don’t be afraid to keep the lights on and get naked with your husband.
Both Vishal K & Arlene Pellicane are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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