They told me it was low fat, high fibre and that I would lose about ten pounds in only one week. I was intrigued. Sure, I had a few pounds to lose. Who wouldn't want to slim down a bit? My high school reunion was just around the corner and with kids I didn't think I could find the time to go to the gym. I knew I had to look better than the popular girls who had made my life a living hell. So, I set my eyes on the cabbage soup diet. I followed it to the letter, never letting my guard down. Let me tell you, it was something else.



My cravings roared to life. Every mention of the word chocolate sent me into frenzy. My children had to hide their school lunches in fear that I would eat them all and leave them with nothing. For some insane reason, I decided to try this cabbage soup diet over Halloween. I begrudgingly handed out candy, chocolate, pop and other delights to brats dressed up as pirates, witches, princesses and goblins. Usually friendly neighborhood kids seemed to scowl as they stole the candy from my weak hands. Sure I'd lost a few pounds by then, but the lag in my energy levels was hardly worth it. I barely mustered the energy to answer the door.

The mood swings that came from not eating normally took an enormous toll on my marriage and on my career. My husband couldn't do anything right. Once I literally wept when he missed some cat hair while sweeping. Towards the end of the diet he started spending copious amounts of time paying bills, mowing the lawn and fixing useless gadgets. We barely spoke. My boss and co-workers instantly noticed a shift in my mood. I sulked around the office on pizza Friday. I felt gloomy on Jill's birthday because I couldn't have cake. I even threw away Spencer's chocolates because if I couldn't have them I didn't think anyone should. Usually compassionate and kind, the lack of real food in my stomach turned me into a maniac.

When all was said and done, I had lost about seven pounds. That made me happy....for a day until I realized it was mostly water weight. After basically starving my body for a week, my system stored every last molecule of food as soon as I started eating normally again. In fact, I gorged on everything I could find. The first thing I did was order Chinese food....and pizza...and Sushi. I was insatiable. Whatever weight I'd lost came back within days. Then I ballooned to a higher weight than I was pre-cabbage soup diet.

The truth is, this diet was not worth it. I'm now eating a balanced diet filled with lean protein, fruits, veggies and dairy. I give in to small cravings and try to get in a bit of exercise each day. I've lost a few pounds. It's been a slow go, but I know this is a much better way to go about things. My husband is speaking to me again and Jill has finally forgiven me. I even told Spencer what I did and we laughed about it over a Mars bar. Things are finally getting back to normal. Well, except for the fact that cabbage is no longer allowed within 10 feet of my house!