Remember that hers/his friends may read your email response as well: He/she may open it at work, or in front of friends. (' We have all shown OUR love letters to friends, haven't we?) So don't write things you will be embarrassed to be confronted with later, like when you meet his/her friends a few months from now. Even in the largest cities, people tend to move in certain social circles. Even in anonymous ads or emails, someone can tell who you are by a just a few things that you write about yourself.



Test the water first. If your relationship is moving from friendship to something a little steamier, start introducing your intimate exchanges gradually. Rather than long outpours of your every thought, try something brief, for example. "I was in the middle of work today and I found myself thinking about you in a manner that surprised me. Want to know more?"

Respond promptly to all emails or any romantic advances you wish to encourage.

It's tough hanging out, wondering whether your message was hit or missed. If you didn't get a reply, you can revise your response and try again. It might be that your first email didn't even get to the person. It does happen. Or it might be that you just still didn't express yourself properly. Try again, if your second attempt failed, shrug it off, and start searching for someone else again. Most importantly don't take it personally. Keep learning, and keep trying. As with anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice expressing yourself, practice reading thru peoples profiles, and practice getting to know the real you.

When you get a reply, try to keep the same conversation running, but don't get too long winded. Talk about what your interests and hobbies are. And ask about her/his interests. Start building the friendship.

Never respond to any correspondence that makes you feel uncomfortable. Reputable matchmaking systems always offer you the blocking of unwanted email from other members you don't want to receive from. If you have problems, write to the system administrator about changing your screen name. Report any obscene or Spam E-mails you receive to the system administrator. On non-adult/alternative lifestyles systems, obscenities, foul language, and abusive behaviour are usually reasons for termination in the rules and regulations you agreed to when you sign up. Provide the system administrator with the users details and copy and paste all emails that were sent to you.

Never believe everything you read. Online it's very easy to misguide someone via correspondence. Remember that the person on the other end may or mat not be who they say they are.

Getting inspired: Writing to someone you don't know is never easy. When you're in the romantically impaired category, keep trying, don't give up. Online romance correspondence is 50% talent and 50% inspiration." Here are some helpful tips for translating what's in your heart into words in an email:

Relax yourself, get in the right mood. Have a glass of wine, play some music. The more you loosen up the easier the right words will come.

Write about your feelings, not facts: "I was a little excited to find your email waiting for me when I got home from work."

"I noticed that you like surfing. I have 3 boards and can often be found down at xyz beach. I am always looking for someone to surf with."