It's hard to get out around other people when I am depressed
and I have been depressed all my life. My self esteem makes
me think I in no way measure up to others. I wonder if maybe I am too
tall, overweight, clumsy, don't wear the right clothes, people
hate me, people think I am a bum. Those are all of the things I am
thinking when I go out in the world. I feel I am under constant
scrutiny.
I have been trying something different lately and
sometimes it works. I have been trying not to look at people
to see if they are looking at me. Now I realize that if I go through
life with my head down or with blinders on, people may look
at me even more.
What works for me(sometimes) is to focus on
other things. We are all people watchers but I try to limit it
to watching people at a distance. At closer range I try to
focus on something else like the scenery, be it trees, buildings
or the traffic light (when I am waiting to cross the street).
It is very discouraging and heartbreaking when we don't feel
like we are just as good as other people.
On bad days when I try to get out and do something such as go to the store or ride my bike, I soon feel the need to get back to my appartment. Sometimes I cover the windows with my draped afgans and hybernate.
It feels almost like my identity is being absorbed when I am out and about. It takes a long while to feel better after I've returned home. It's a terrible feeling which I am sure
many people have.....low self esteem which can go even lower when around people. It seems like a loss of my self that leaves my physique grasping at anything just to feel better. I
will smoke more, eat a lot more, and be very restless.
I try to keep busy and also try to sleep as much as I can. It really does feel as if "I" don't exist.
When you are depressed it is so hard to keep yourself motivated and get out of bed. When you wake up you just lay there. You try to enjoy your coffee when you do get up and not just need it.
The last few days I have tried to do at least something such as wash clothes one day and dishes the next. The important thing is that I give myself credit for what I do, no matter how little it is.
I think I have motivated myself to get out of my apartment today and do some walking (I picked the coldest day of the year so far. ha! ha!)
When we are feeling like this, it is our struggle and no one else's. Our self esteem is low, our confidence is low, and we feel lost. We are in control of what we actually do accomplish. Yes, a pat on the back is in order, even if all I do today is wash my dishes.
Peer Pressure And Drinking
Over the past three decades more and more adults are quitting smoking. This is a great revolution which hopefully will continue. While we are celebrating our success we are often overlooking a major smoking factor; our teens are beginning to pick up the habit. Since they are not going to smoke in front of you they may already be addicted to nicotine before you find out they smoke. Studies show that many under-age smokers light up as early as the eighth grade. This means they could very well be addicted to nicotine before they graduate. Many teenagers start smoking because they see their parents smoke at home. Teenagers look at their parents as being adult and they aspire to be more like them. Others light up because one of their friends encourages them. It is much harder to say no to friends than it is to parents. They might not enjoy that first cigarette but because their friends sat it is cool they will try again. It doesn't take long for addiction to take hold.
Stop Smoking ? A Worthy Battle
Everyday we hear somebody say "just stop smoking". This is an easy statement to make for someone who has never smoked. People who have never smoked do not understand the powerful addiction caused by nicotine. Also, how can we tell our teens to stop smoking if we smoke ourselves? The best deterrent for teens is simply education and support. Parents need to take a realistic look at their teen's lives. Who are their friends, what do they do for entertainment? Get to know their friends and accept them. Offer education on the dangers of smoking; get graphic with pictures if you have to. Encourage them to talk to you about the pressure they are under. Let them know you don't intend to punish them. The fear of punishment will only discourage them from being honest with you.
There are some alarming factors associated with teenage smoking. Many of them start as early as the eight grade and over half of high school students have at least tried cigarettes. The chance of premature death due to smoking is about five times higher than any other cause of death. Many smokers will die from smoking related causes as early as their twenties. If you find out your teen is addicted to nicotine help them get the tools they need to stop smoking. There are many programs and smoking cessation aids available for you to choose from. If you smoke, it is important that you also put forth the effort to stop. The greatest success comes with a good support system. Exercise and good nutrition help to teach a healthy lifestyle.
If you want to help your teen to stop smoking you have to help them understand the dangers and risks. If they fall off the wagon, be there to help them get up and start again. By helping them through the stop smoking process you will be helping them to add many years to their lives.
Both David Susan & Brian Welsch are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
