A lot of people have their iPods filled with hundreds or even thousands of songs (Apple advertises that the iPod Classic can hold up to 30,000 songs). I am not one of them. I do have an iPod and an iPhone and a bunch of other devices that can store and play music, but there are only a few dozen songs on there, or maybe a hundred. It's an odd mix of music, too. There's classic rock from my youth, there's psych folk, there's New Age, there are some popular hits, and there is some music played and recorded by my friends.



I often wondered why I have all this technology available to me and I barely use it for music at all. After all, my hard disks and storage cards are filled with pictures, tens of thousands of them. And I do like music. I have no musical talent and was never a musician (beyond playing the recorder in grade school), but music has always played a part in my life. I still have hundreds of old vinyl albums, a whole collection of hit singles of my favorite singers and bands, and also several hundred CDs. It's just that I don't use music to drown out the world or immerse myself in white noise. I don't listen to music when I run, which I do every other morning, and I only rarely listen to it when I drive.

Music means a lot of different things to people. I've had colleagues who had music on while they worked, always. I know people who turn on music as soon as they get home. I know people who get nervous when their iPod runs out of juice or when there isn't a place where they can dock it for more sound. For me it's all different. For me, music is emotional, etheric, something that reaches deep inside of me. I rarely cry, but when I do it's when I listen to music and something touches me. Music is letting go, inner discovery, memories, emotions. I never just listen to music. There's always an emotional component.

I have no idea why I love certain types of music while other styles and genres leave me cold. I probably love classic rock because that was what I grew up with and have all sorts of memories. While words and lyrics can be important, for me the music itself is the message. Music can have an intense emotional impact whether the words are simple and repetitive, or contain social commentary, fairie or pagan messages, or shock lyrics. Music is not an intellectual exercise, but one of feelings and emotions. Music takes you on a ride that can lead you anywhere and anyplace. Music has helped me through difficult, painful times in my life.

I never know how music will affect me, and where I will find it. I never know if it's the music itself or if it's the musician, the band, or the message that captures me and draws me in. I have no particular fondness for country, but fell in love with the songs and appeal of Bob Cheever, a country singer in his sixties. I turned on the radio one day, by sheer chance, and found Karunesh. I browsed the web for psychfolk and found Julien Aklei. I never know when and how music will affect my life, but I know that when it does, it's deep and special.