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Save My Marriage Now

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Parterapi is regarded by many I've spoken to as a last ditch effort. After a long period marked by great dissatisfaction, one is almost ready for divorce. Long talks and arguments haven't helped. Neither has speaking with friends and relatives, priests and bartenders. All the good advice one gets seems difficult to apply and one is close to giving up.

Parterapi is perceived as the last resort. A brave attempt to save a faltering realtionship. For many the thought of having to pay cash for help in working out a relationship is seen as a defeat. And it's expensive as well...

When a couple arrives at therapy, the expectations of the two individuals are very often quite dissimilar. For some the end has already been reached. Hope is gone and help is needed to end the often painful situation. The man, or the woman, may not really want to go into therapy but has let him/herself be "dragged" into therapy so as not be regarded as the one who, in the end, wasn't willing, or able to take part in the rescue attempt.

Many people come with expectations of getting some quick advice on how to shore up their partnership so they can continue happily just as before it all started to change.

- and to their surprise they are told by the therapist that no magic cure is forthcoming. They are told that it they, themselves, who will have to work hard and that the help the therapist can provide consists of support ang guidance, in help to rebuild a stable and trusting realtionship. They are also told that it will take time and that the work will at times be hard, that progress will be made and relapses occur. They will experience laughter and also tears and that , more than anything else, it will require courage.

Courage is needed to open up and reveal one's thoughts and aspirations to another. It takes courage to share feelings, to allow another to see one's strengths and weaknesses. And it takes courage to open oneself to another, vulnerable and without the protection one has built up over a lifetime.

Boy ! Not strange that so many give up after a couple of tries. Or never even begin.

For those who succeed, the payoff is great. They end therapy with increased confidence in themselves, in life and in each other. They acquire strategies they can apply to solve future difficulties and disagreements. They get increased insight into their own ways of meeting the world and how they are different from each other and thereby can help each other to achieve more than either can achieve alone.

And they often ask themselves in the end: "Why did we wait so long?", "Why didn't we do this before?", "Just think of all the time we have spent in frustration, how much we could have achieved if we'd done this long ago?" , "If only we had known"

Save My Marriage Now

This special guides is written for those people who keep asking around, "Please start saving your marriage someone" to people who are not at all qualified to give them advice. The request "please save my life" is so ambiguous actually, that most people cannot make any headway into it. After all, it's your own marriage and you know how to make it work the best. There's nothing gained by asking others how you can do it.

In fact, you will arrive at solutions yourself when you sit and think what is going wrong. Something is definitely amiss that has made your partner lose interest in you. You need to work at remedying the situation. But, before that, you will need to know what the cause of the whole issue might be. The following are ten points that may be going wrong. Assess them and come up with your own solutions for them.

1.Is there a financial problem in the house? This is the number one problem, worldwide, for marriages breaking. It is also the easiest problem to solve. Have a discussion with your partner and arrive at a mutually agreeable solution.

2.Is there another man or woman? If there is, it is very difficult to pull your partner back. You will have to be a Mills & Boon hero or heroine to do the trick. But then, miracles do happen.

3.Have the children come at a time when one of you wasn't ready? If the responsibilities of children are making one of you displeased, divide the tasks equally. The person who is not much comfortable with children can do the other tasks around the house to set the household rolling.

4.Is the sex gone out of your life? This can be easily cured if you make an effort. Plan out a second honeymoon. That works most of the time.

5.Are you not communicating as well as you used to? Make it a point to keep some time aside for things you like doing mutually. Even something as simple as dining together at home or watching the television sitting on the same couch helps.

6.Is one of you professionally better than the other? Then it may be good old ego at work. It is time to act like mature people and not like schoolchildren vying for top marks in the class.

7.Is someone from outside causing the discord between you? Handle this problem quite tenderly, especially if it is your partner whose ears are being fed. Make him or her realize the truth of the matter. Be patient.

8.Are any of you coming in the way of the other's ambitions? If that is happening, have a very elaborate talk on what the priorities of each one of you are. It is best to think as a family here rather than as an individual.

9.Are small things coming in the way of having a good relationship? In that case, a marriage counselor can be a great help. Schedule an appointment with someone reputed that you know.

10.Have you lost the mental connection with each other? If yes, then you will need to work at rebuilding it. Converse, converse, converse, that's the best solution for getting higher in your partner's eyes.

Before asking others,"what to do to save your troubled marriage?" look into these issues. These "are the leading problems causing marital breakups today. Implement the right solution and you will be looking at a better life.

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About Author

Both Ilan Wolffberg & Sean Tan are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Ilan Wolffberg has sinced written about articles on various topics from Home Management, Divorce and Infidelity. Having marital problems? Ilan Wolffberg is an American parterapi expert and has been residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Read his views on couples therapy at "What About Couples Therapy?" and in Danish at "Om parterapi" Click here for other. Ilan Wolffberg's top article generates over 1900 views. to your Favourites.

Sean Tan has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dieting, Video Games and Web Development. Sean is a marriage counselor who finds many people who always pose the question, "How Do I ?" You can visit his website that is full on informati. Sean Tan's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.

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