Think about it like this: a marriage is like a corporation, and taking it apart is as complicated as dismantling a business but with the added problem of intense feelings. As important as the emotional appraisal of considering a divorce is, the financial one could be just as important. Is only one partner a wage earner, or does one partner make much more? The financial change might well be devastating.



Maintaining two households is almost always more expensive than maintaining one and when you have kids it can cost even more. Not because the commute for the children costs the parents money, but because the process of being shuttled between parents can stress the children.

Make a true assessment of your situation and you should get a picture of the high cost of divorce financially and emotionally. Remember that child custody is not only a rocky and emotional issue for all involved, but that child support can be a financial nightmare for the parents.

What if you don't have children? You still have to divide the property and items acquired as a couple. Besides the practical items that had formally been shared, there is items that might have a sentimental attachment. You might have to sell your home, not only incurring the high cost of moving, but also losing a place of happy memories.

Money may be the reason for the split in the first place and seeing a financial counselor may be required to settle such issues as dividing debts. This type of help can even lead to saving the marriage where money is the big issue of dissent.

If an affair is the cause of the split, you might be able to save the marriage with professional help. The clergy will often help at not expense, but there are also family services that charge on a sliding scale and private marriage counselors. Most importantly find someone who has experience with infidelity. Sometimes inexperienced or amateur counsel from friends and family can do far more harm than good.

If you are the betrayed party, it is normal to be hurt by the affair. Don't forget though, the same vows that pledged you both to fidelity also pledge you to sticking together in both good and bad times. It might help to take time to understand the "whys" of the affair. Remember, the cheater is a human being who makes mistakes (like we all do).

Besides all of the other costs of a divorce, there is also fact that you would be losing the identity of being a couple. This changes your social dynamic with friends and in activities. Even when you both want the divorce, it is common to become lonely and drift into relationships too quickly. Try to remember the good times, and put what is happening now into a farther perspective.

Divorce is expensive both financially and emotionally and in many cases can be avoided with the right help and the dedication to try to save the relationship. If divorce is inevitable, help from outside by experts may ease some of the financial and emotional pain. Being honest about the costs makes the decision clearer for both of you.