One of caregivers' biggest fears is that the care-receiver will die on their shift. Most people have never watched someone die.



It doesn't always happen the way it is portrayed in the movies.

Every death is unique. How your loved-one enters the dying phase will depend on a lot of variables. Even though there is not a specific sequence of events, there will be noticeable changes to be aware of.

Here are a few.

1.Increased sleeping usually occurs in the days or hours before death. As death approaches you may not be able to wake the care-receiver from a coma-like state.

2.The care-receiver gradually stops taking in food or beverage. Do not try to force food or water on your loved one. This could cause them to choke. If they are thirsty but can't swallow you can moisten their lips with ice.

3.The care-receiver's body elimination will usually cease. Urine output will drop as the kidneys shut down.

4.Another sign is the fading strength of the heartbeat. Towards the end you may not be able to feel a pulse in the arms or legs. The pulse may race as the heart tries to overcome the fluid buildup in the lungs. Blood pressure may begin to drop. The care-receiver's extremities may seem cool to the touch.

5.Irregular breathing patterns may be part of the dying process. Dyspnea is labored breathing and short breaths. Apnea is a period of no breathing that lasts for between one and sixty seconds.

Cheyne-Stokes breathing is a rhythmic waxing and waning of the breathing which may alternate with period of apnea. In the later stages, the "death rattle" may be heard. This is when mucus in the mouth accumulates in the back of the throat and makes a distinct sound.

6.As the ability to take in oxygen decreases, the care-receiver may seem confused and have decreased alertness. Restlessness may occur, too. The care-receiver may pick at his/her clothing or bed linens. He/she may struggle to get comfortable.

7.Fever is common toward the end, as the body tries to fight off mega-infections.

8.The care-receiver's vision may become dim or blurred. However, hearing seems to be one of the last senses to go.

9.The dying person may shout out a yell at the time of death.This is caused by a physical spasm in the voice box rather than an attempt to communicate. When your loved one has died, there will not be a heartbeat or breathing. The eyelids will be slightly open and his/her eyes will be staring straight ahead. The jaw will relax and fall slightly open. Immediately after death, his/her skin will lose it glow.

Watching someone die is an extraordinary and emotionally painful experience.

And yet, most people report it is also a profound experience, a miracle.