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Speaking And Listening Skills

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Many studies (such as listed in USA Today, MSNBC, and University of Oregon) conclude children are suffering from a lowered attention span due to activities such as television and computer games. Peter Jensen at the National Institute of Mental Health concluded, "Extensive exposure to television and video games may promote development of brain systems that scan and shift attention at the expense of those that focus attention."



If you have children, you would often feel like you are talking to a brick wall. They often at times shrug you off ignoring what you have to say. The problem goes beyond discipline issues as some children do not pay attention for expected periods of time due to focusing problems.

When you think about it, does your child talk much when watching television or playing computer games?

Unless they provide commentary and annoy everyone else around them (that was aimed at my youngest brother :)) you probably answered "not much at all". They will sit in front of a gaming console, computer, or television and become 'mind slaves' to the device as they 'switch off' their mind into the rapid, hypnotic pace these devices deliver. Of course, we do listen while watching yet the devices deliver sound at a greater speed that is considerably more entertaining to children then the sound of nagging parents talking to them.

This may sound strange, but watch someone watching television. Look at how warped the person appears. It seems as if the person stares livelessly into the television.

Television, computer games, and other highly immersive activities are consuming more and more of childrens' time these days. When a child or anyone for instance, constantly receives their entertainment through computer games for example, they develop an increasing desire for instant entertainment which decreases their attention spans and hurts their listening skills.

Activities such as computer games, require a high level of concentration and reasonable skills to play. When these two are combined, time becomes distorted. Behavioral psychologists term this an internal state of enjoyment known as flow.

A child who constantly gets in flow from an activity by themselves (television, pc games, handheld devices, and gaming consoles) is likely to have their attention span reduced and their listening skills decline. Their ability to be patient is small as the child is used to getting entertained through the rapid pace these activities deliver. When the child needs to listen, the change of pace, from say a Mario game, to his/her parent talking about homework is slow and boring. Computer games and the like cause children to develop poor listening skills.

The first thing you need to do to teach your child better listening skills deals with what activities they have throughout the day. This first aim should be to develop better patience within your child so they at least have the ability to pay attention to the person who is speaking to them. Activities such as computer games are not evil and should not be totally banned, but their needs to be a level of moderation. It also increases the chances of improving your child's health as they will spend less time sitting down. In addition, it helps develop the child's social skills because of more face-to-face interaction. Follow President George W. Bush's cheeky advice when he said, "They put an off button on the TV for a reason. Turn it off."
Speaking And Listening Skills
On a larger scale, there are several cultures where people seem to talk all at the same time and you wonder if anyone is listening. It appears ridiculous to see two, three or more people talking at the same time to each other in a group. While it looks funny, there can be a communication lesson that can be learned here.

But more importantly, in a relationship constant communication is essential. In fact, it is vital not to keep on guessing what is in the mind of the other person. To build good listening skills in a relationship is a critical element in keeping communication open.

Everyone wants the other person to listen to him or her when he's doing the talking. But not everyone wants to listen. More often or not, we always have something to say and we like to look for an audience to listen to us.

However, being a good listener is not an accident. To build good listening skills in a relationship can be learned.

And being a good listener can make you a “great conversationalist” to your partner. This would add “spice” to the relationship and not make it boring. Learn to be an good active listener.

Here are some steps to being a good active listener:

1.Look at your partner when he or she is talking

This would give the impression that you are truly listening. Eye contact is crucial in active listening. Looking away or elsewhere gives the other a feeling that you are not interested in what he has to say.

2.Lean towards your spouse and listen intently

This action shows interest in what your spouse is saying. Body language, at times, says more than what you are actually saying. Smiling, and nodding in response encourages people to continue speaking, and it shows that your attention is focused on the conversation. Don't move around and say ”Go ahead I'm listening” while you're fixing or working on something.

3.Save your comments at the end

While your spouse is speaking, don't butt in. You wouldn't want that to happen to you. Much as you have good suggestions, save it at the end. Don't think what to say next because while you're thinking, you're not listening. Another is jumping to another topic other than what your partner is saying. That will tell him or her that you are not interested in what he or she is saying. After he is done, say encouraging thoughts or suggestions and nothing negative.

4.Be patient when listening

Don't hurry up your spouse especially when he or she is excited to tell you a story, an experience or more so a problem Sometimes we may have many things to do but it is very important that you put all these aside first and give all your attention to your spouse. This act of love is one way of showing that your spouse is important. He will also feel your love and will be very happy and appreciate you more.

These steps help in improving communication. To build good listening skills in a relationship especially with love will ensure a solid partnership. As stated earlier, improved communication between spouses or partners is key to having that relationship always fresh and exciting.
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Both Joshua Uebergang & Ted And Christine Segura are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Joshua Uebergang has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sociology, Parental Care and Marketing and Communications. Joshua Uebergang has given you a free guide to . For more great free advice o. Joshua Uebergang's top article generates over 40500 views. to your Favourites.

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