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Stop Fighting With Your

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Yes, none of them are perfect but there are some things you can do to help make the job run smoother, finish on time and on budget and with a whole lot less stress and angst.



I know this doesn't sound like you, but you would be amazed at what some clients think their finally-found contractor should do on their behalf.

Here is a list of ten things you can do to help your contractor and yourself:

1.Stop looking over his work every day. There are a lot of things that need to get done which aren't immediately evident on a job site. But if those things don't get done on time, your job could be held up for days, in some cases of material or ?out-of-trade? contractor shortage, weeks. So let him spend the time liaising with colleagues or accurately measuring and ordering the required materials.

2.Hiring sub-contractors. If you don't get a brickie, plumber, electrician etc on time to do their bit of the contract, then your job gets held up too. It is a bit like a domino effect, if someone ?falls over? in one section of the work chain, the rest of the work gets stuffed around too. This isn't your contractors fault so stop ?going at him? over something that he has no control over. Obviously, if there is going to be a prolonged delay your contractor has other subbies he can let the work go to but no reasonable contractor worth his salt immediately calls on someone else to do the work previously ?subbied? to someone else. Your contractor knows when he needs to call on someone else to do your job so leave it up to your contractor to decide.

3.There is no need to call your contractor every third day to see when the work will be completed. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will your new bathroom. Be patient.

4.If you are doing house renovations, things have to be ripped apart to make the improvements so there will be a mess. Realise this, make allowances (like moving great-grandmothers vase into a safe place) and move anything else that could be an inconvenience to your workmen - well out of their way.

5.So you want them to clean up as they go? No problem, but it does help a lot if you have a broom, dustpan and the rubbish bins available

6.Keep an eye on your kids. If workmen constantly have kids hanging around they are in the way. Accept the fact that your workmen are there to do your job, not answer every question young Johnny has about why something is getting done. Yes, most contractors do like kids?but not always underfoot.

7.When your contractor says he needs to see you, then he needs to see you. When you have made an appointment time, be on time. Yes, s/he is working for you but they are not your personal ?servant? for you to keep waiting indefinitely. Their time is money too, so be a responsible and considerate client and stop costing them money in ?downtime?.

8.If you are to choose the materials yourself, eg: tiles, pavers, paint colours, and the contractor need them by a certain set date, then have the materials there ready for them to start work with them.

9.Accept the fact that we still get rain (well, in some places anyway) and when it's pouring rain a lot of outside work can't be done. Your contractor can't do anything about this but it does hold up work. If not immediately for him, certainly for some (or one) of the subbies. You will be surprised how well the majority of the contractors reschedule their work load to accommodate this work inconvenience. Stop pushing him because there are many other factors that have to be taken into consideration.

10.Pay progress payments on time. There is no reason for you to think your contractors have to ?bankroll? your renovations. They are a construction contracting business, not a bank.

With a little bit of courtesy, common sense and respect by everyone, there really is no reason to fight with your construction contractor. They want to finish your job and get paid for it so they can move on to the next one. You want your perfect job and they want to do it for you, so by working together and not fighting you both achieve your goals.
Stop Fighting With Your
It's fair to say that most people avoid contact whenever they are faced with it ? especially in a relationship. Conflict and arguments make us feel weak and can cause us to feel badly about ourselves and our lives. If you find that you and your partner are constantly fighting, and you don't know what you do about it, maybe these tips will be able to help.

What are you fighting for?

There may be times when it seems like you're fighting about everything ? from the litter box to the bills, the way someone snores to how they put the towel on the floor after a shower. But what you might want to start to recognize is that not all fights are actually about anything important at all ? they're merely symbols of something larger. And it's that larger thing that you need to tackle in order to stop the fighting and arguing.

But how do you get to this larger issue? First of all, there are many psychological techniques that can help you, so there's no need to become frustrated before you even start. Some couples are able to sit down and talk about what frustrates them, but for those that can not, writing is an amazingly effective way to get your feelings out. What you can do is simply take five minutes to write until you run out of things to say. While you might not think that you can write for that long, you'll be surprised what happens once you get started. This free writing exercise allows your mind to switch off and allows the censors to be quiet so that you can release your real feelings about what is happening in your relationship.

Every day help

You may also want to try this exercise every morning when you first wake up. By writing down everything that is on your mind, you will keep it from becoming too ?full? and confused. Many people find that this exercise not only allows them to be calmer in their relationship, but that they can also find solutions to ongoing problems that come up. This is a long term tool that works for many couples.

Right now

If you want to diffuse your fighting today, you can do several things. First of all, it helps to step outside of your anger and your frustration by realizing what is really happening. Talk about the ?source? of your fighting as though it were happening to someone else. This might mean that you start to refer to each other in the third person (he or she) in order to fully separate yourself from the emotions that are occurring. You might also want to start talking in hushed tones to calm down your body physically so that your mind responds as well. It's hard to be upset when you're talking softly.

What are you getting out of fighting?

Another thing that you will want to consider is whether or not you're rewarding the other person for fighting with you, or if they are rewarding you. We only do things that bring us some sort of satisfaction, so what is the reward of all of your fighting? Think about what happens immediately after a fight. Do you head to the bedroom as a sort of reward for the fight being over? Do you talk lovingly to each other or go out and reward your selves in some other manner?

When you start to realize that pattern of your fighting, you might start to see that you are actually allowing it to continue to happen. Instead of making it something that isn't good for your relationship, you're creating the connection that if you fight, you will get something in return. To effectively stop the fighting and start uncovering what the source is, you need to stop rewarding the fighting itself. After a fight, you shouldn't do anything that makes it rewarding. Sit with each other, but try not to create any sort of reward unless you actually work through the problem that you have fought about.

Fighting isn't something that you can entirely avoid, but it is a signal that you should look more closely at your relationship and how you are managing it. By taking the time to write out your feelings and then discussing problems calmly, you won't have to start yelling in order to feel heard.
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About Author
Both Jan Smith & Cucan Pemo are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Jan Smith has sinced written about articles on various topics from Home, Children and Culture and Society. (c)2006 J.Smith Publisher
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