I've often witnessed the ways in which many people become their greatest obstacle in their path towards success. It's human nature to do this. We complain at the drop of a hat when we don't achieve the outcomes we desire. Whether we're seeking a new career path, a fulfilling romantic relationship, better relationships with our colleagues at work, managing our finances more effectively or increasing our income, we think it's just about manifesting the end result. But really what's required is for us to grow at a personal level. We're being called to change our old habits and ways of being in the world. Many of us can easily share a list of things that we'd like to do or achieve. Yet, too often, that list stays inside our heads. Why? Because, in order to create external change, the first essential step is to be willing to shift internally. We talk a good talk, but when it comes to creating results we hit a roadblock, feeling stuck and challenged by shifting our thoughts and beliefs. We are too quick to surrender our dreams and we throw our hands up in the air, giving up.



So how can we go about creating an internal shift to manifest the external results we desire?

We achieve this by:

1. Admitting that we enjoy complaining, feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But admit it, don't you experience a slight sense of satisfaction when you complain about your particular situation or circumstances? Part of us finds pleasure in wallowing in our own self-pity. We actually enjoy receiving supportive comments and an empathetic head shake from others. We tell ourselves that we can't change or that we're inherently flawed in a particular area. This causes us to feel a sense of relief because we let ourselves "off the hook", feeling justified in not taking any further action. Often we convince ourselves that we really didn't want what we were seeking anyway.

2. Accepting responsibility. We have to stop complaining and blaming others (regardless of whether or not we believe we are in the right and they are in the wrong). We must remember that we are the common denominator in every situation that we've encountered in our lives. We can continue to blame others and give away our power or we can step up to the plate and accept our part in the way situations have played out in our lives.

3. Defining our personal growth edge. Get clear about what is holding you back. Ask yourself, "How am I being called to grow in this situation? What is the opportunity that I'm being given to learn right now? What are my underlying beliefs behind how I interact with others that is causing me to behave in a certain way with them?" And here's the biggie: "Do I really believe that it's possible for me to change or am I rigidly committed to the belief that I can't change and that my situation will always remain the same?"

You cannot create change with this kind of belief. If you don't believe change is possible, then don't get frustrated with yourself when you don't feel motivated to create the change you desire. You're sending mixed messages to the universe. It's equivalent to having your foot on the gas and the brakes at the same time.

4. Getting clear about what we want. Many of us experience conflicting values and priorities in our lives. We want to have a successful career and we want to be there for our family. We believe it's impossible to have both. But it is possible to have both. This is your soul talking to you - calling you. You can have both; don't disregard one or the other. If you want a successful career and you also have a desire for rich, connecting relationships with your family - claim it! When we get in touch with what we really want and truly desire at a soul level, we re-motivate ourselves.

I have found this to be true for myself. At times in my life when I struggled and felt unmotivated, I would stop myself and get back in touch with finding clarity in the result that I wanted to achieve. If you're not clear about the "what you want" part, focus on specific qualities that you'd like to achieve. For example, if you're not clear about the specific kind of career you want, focus on the qualities of the career. You may decide that you want a career that you are passionate about and that brings a specific amount of income.

5. Being willing to step out of our comfort zone. Once we've identified the beliefs and behaviors that are holding us back, we need to be willing to take action and step out of our comfort zone. I heard a quote sometime ago, "Success lies just beyond my comfort zone."

The clients I've worked with who have achieved the results they desire are the ones who are willing to take a good hard look at what is holding them back, to get clear about what they are passionate about and what they want to go for, and are willing to take action to move in that direction.

Each day we are provided with the opportunity to bridge the gap between growing inwardly to create the external reality we desire. When we focus on the inner part, the outer part truly does take care of itself.