David Deangelo of Double Your Dating recently interviewed Joseph Matthews of Approaching Women in his famous Interviews With Dating Gurus series. Joseph Matthews is a famous dating guru in his own right, and getting these two masterminds of approaching women together has revealed some brilliant insight into the heart of a man, attraction, and the basics of approaching women from the “inner game” outward.



About 8 years ago, Joseph Matthews hit rock bottom. He was unsuccessful with women and dating, and was at a point in his life where he had to either re-define his life, or sign out completely. He chose to re-define his life, and the by-product of that intense redefinition is the Art of Approaching Women.

According to Joseph Matthews, the core skill-set in successful dating is being able to approach and meet women with success. Without that initial success of an approach, nothing else can ever happen. David Deangelo of Double Your Dating certainly agrees, and encourages Joseph Matthews to reveal his secrets to his listeners.

Matthews reveals that most women will form an opinion of you within 60 seconds. Approaching women is the most difficult portion of the dating game, and is also the most feared of the steps of meeting women. David Deangelo asks Matthews what some of his thoughts are about inner game, dating tips to boost a man's confidence and ability to approach women.

Joseph Matthews names physical appearance as the single biggest hang up that men have when approaching women. Most men feel that faults they find in their own appearance (such as height, a crooked nose, a zit, etc) will be as automatically glaringly obvious to the opposite sex as those faults are to themselves. However, this is not the case. Remember the old adage, “You are your own worst critic”? This is true. These flaws in your physical appearance that are unable to look past more than likely will not even be noticed by a woman you are trying to approach.

The fact is - women and men are attracted to people in very different ways. Men are attracted to women because of their looks. Women, on the other hand, are not attracted to men initially because of looks. Women are not nearly as visual as men are, and women will go for a man who makes them feel good over a man who is classically “good looking” any day. So the moral of the story is, you don't know what a woman is attracted to physically, so remember that YOU may be hung up on your looks, but SHE is not. The way you make a woman feel inside by being a strong (advocating attraction), confident man is much more valuable than your outer appearance.

The next hindrance that Matthews points out are “attraction” hindrances. Again, these go back to our own perceived weaknesses. Matthews says, and David Deangelo concurs, you either need to change these things, or learn to deal with them. In other words, quit your bitching. If you don't like it, change it, if you can't change it, deal with it.

One great example of this is a deaf man. A deaf man can wallow in the fact that he is deaf, or he can learn to work around it by using other avenues of communication, such as instant messages, text messaging, letter writing, lip reading and body language. David Deangelo points out that most men try to hide these “faults” because of ego, but getting creative to work around these problems will inevitable boost your success, confidence and ability to deal with any situation that comes your way. In other words, necessity is the mother of invention, and you need to figure out what is more important, getting women, or hiding behind your contrived excuse.

Another point that Joseph Matthews recommends is knowing what you want in a girl and knowing the warning signs to look for that indicate you need to walk away from a woman. One great dating tip - women who have been sexually abused, women who don't like children or animals, women who have a bad relationship with their father - all these factors can mean an unstable woman. Be prepared to look for these things in a woman depending on what you want in a woman.

This all boils down to attraction, though. One of the core features of all of David Deangelo's Double Your Dating programs is attraction - everything is built on creating attraction, maintaining attraction and growing relationships based on primal attraction. Your main goal, therefore, should be to eliminate your own insecurities and thereby build your own attractive qualities, such as confidence, masculinity and independence. Become the kind of man who is self-sustaining and independent of other people.

Taking the lead in the dating interaction is another key point in approaching and dating women. Men who let the woman take the lead are viewed by women as submissive and of lesser status than they are. This is not advocating being domineering and a jerk - but this means that you must be the strong one in the relationship, you initiate, you lead and she WILL follow.