I once attended a powerful retreat taught and led by the extraordinary poet, David Whyte, who wrote "The Heart Aroused." He was definitely successful in arousing my heart that fateful weekend - probably one of the most incredible men I have ever met, and was most assuredly someone to whome I never wanted to have to say goodbye...
The Buddhists believe that the root cause of suffering comes from our attachments and that surrender (a constant flow of loving and letting go) is the only way to experience peace and well being. Now this philosophy seems pretty much in alignment with my observations.
In my years of research, study, and exploration, everything seems to point to one conclusion (both in my own life and those of others)-that when we cling to something or a certain outcome of how we think things ought to be, the tighter our grip, the more we will suffer-that our attachment will inevitably cause us great pain-not the person, place, situation, circumstance, event or thing to which we are attached, but the attachment itself.
David Whyte calls us "creatures of the great good bye." No other primate has the cerebral capacity to ponder the future to the extent that we humans can. And with this in mind, the whole being on top of the food chain factor could definitely be seen as something of a disadvantage.
But is it, really? Perhaps it is just how we perceive this perplexing knowing-that-we-are-eventually-going-to-have-to-say-good-bye-thing. Suppose you could realign your thinking just a little bit to realize the possibility for something good to happen the next time you take leave or bid farewell to someone or something you love. I mean if you think about it, saying good-bye is so utterly inevitable that it seems preposterous what we put ourselves through in worrying and anticipating it so.
As "creatures of the great good bye," we are the collective result of our primal heritage, with one notable exception. We can reason. So, the next time you go into a tailspin about having to say good-bye, don't try to figure out what's happening (most likely your primitive brain has initialized your fight or flight mode). Instead, try embracing your fear, sadness, angst, or whatever comes up with compassion for yourself. Just let whatever is happening be there, noticing your resistance and allow it for once. Good. Now use your ability to reason to think of one positive thing that could result because you were able to surrender to the situation in this moment. Just one. Fantastic. You are on your way to conditioning yourself into a whole new way of being-beyond suffering.
Oh, one final note. I haven't yet been successful at discovering something good about saying good-bye to David Whyte (and that was at least four years ago...). Ya? I know? I am a work in progress?join me, won't you?
The Great Gatsby Full
One of the most rewarding things about being a fitness trainer is empowering someone to accomplish their goals and watching them do it. Everyone has a different reason for embracing a fitness lifestyle, but the outcomes are pretty much always the same. The person feels better and has more confidence because the body they live in is vibrant, healthy and able. One thing's for sure, mentoring someone to transform is great fun.
My husband Dave and I live in an interesting community. It is full of "expats" (people who do not live in their home culture). As such, my fitness clients are from everywhere. This makes for interesting communication challenges and requires some different mentoring and leadership skills. One group that I have is a group of young Japanese women who don't speak much English and I, unfortunately, have very little Japanese. We use lots of body language! Oops, I digress.
Getting to the idea that fitness is a "great equalizer". What does this mean? It means that doing it means getting better at it. This applies to everyone - no matter what level they start from. As an example, I currently have 2 clients that joined me about the same time. Both are women. One is 55 and has always been sedentary except for light housework and walking. The other is a thirty year old dancer who became overweight over a period of about 10 years. The older lady is motivated because she is having health problems from her lack of activity and extra body fat. The younger lady is motivated to become leaner and stay active.
When I met the older client, I thought she was much older than her years by the way she moved and the way she talked about what she could and couldn't do. When she started exercising, she moved slowly. Her joints were stiff and her brain to body communication was slow. She started at level one. Within weeks, however, she was moving well and fluently. She has since reported that her blood pressure is lower and she says she feels so much better. This week in step aerobics class, she was keeping up with the much younger participants!
The younger client is really seeing body changes and feeling different. She is becoming leaner and has radiance to her skin that is remarkable. She plans to run a 10K race in 2 months. She is looking good and feeling good!
The great equalizer: Both started about 2 months ago. Both are consistently exercising and making healthier food choices. Both are beginning to see and feel results after 2 months - within the scope and realistic expectations that they had when they began.
The greatest thing to witness through this transformation is what I like to call "the side effects". When I talk to both of these ladies about what they are doing, I feel their happiness and their sense of empowerment about taking charge of their own health. It is hard work, but the rewards are tangible and visible. The changes are emotional as well as physical!
Last night Dave and I were talking about his fitness "transformation". You see, he decided 7 years ago (age 41) that, although he was exercising and eating well, he wasn't as fit as he would like to be. So he embarked on a journey of transformation. He was so excited about his change that he wrote a book about it! (Read about his experience at http://www.fitnessantiaging.com). He and I started dating after he had "transformed". I said to him that I am not sure I would have dated him if he didn't keep himself fit.
Ok, ok... even I'll admit that this sounds superficial, but for me it's not. Why? Although I DO appreciate a man (or woman) with a fit body - it's much more than that. A person who keeps him or herself fit has an aura about them - a sense of empowerment about their own health and body. And let's face it, empowered people are attractive people!
So, congratulations to all of you out there who have recently made the decision to embrace a fitness lifestyle. Enjoy the journey!
Both Luann Robinson Hull & Ainsley Laing are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Luann Robinson Hull has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dating and Romance, Fitness. Obtain a free subscription to Luann Robinson Hull's Gem of the Week - where this article came from!