For many of us, learning about love in a relationship has been one of lifes great mysteries. You're not exactly given any insights from the birds and the bees scenario that your parents may have told you. Neither is there any insight from any other typical education sources when you're growing up. There's no help from society either which is today filled with romantic ideals in movies and pop songs and new age books about sex. It is indeed through our own experiences, good and bad, that we grab any piece of information about love. In this article, I am going to focus on two specific and very prominent views from the world today on how to find the right love. There are stark contrasts between the two, both highlighting the possible pitfalls from certain assumptions we make, that todays societies have imbeded in our minds as how love and relationships should work.



When two become one!

One of the oldest traditions that is still very common today is the idea of a soul mate. Very popular in christianity, the idea is that two people share the same soul and love is infact this single soul living in two bodies being brought together. The main concept is that the meeting of these two souls to become one is the utmost form of a relationship. There are both pro's and cons to this soul mate view. The pro's being that while searching for your soul mate you are actually searching deep within yourself. Therefore creating a better understanding of who you really are. The cons being that no relationship can last for all time and the realisation of which can be quite a come down.

Relationships without getting to know your partner first

Another popular tradition, especially in Asian culture is the idea of arranged marriages. Here, unlike what some people think, all parties involved have given their consent. This is often confused with forced marriage. The idea is that you will grow to love one another over an extended period of time together, rather than datng and falling for someone. There are of course some drawbacks here too, especially since sometimes parents motives for choosing their childs partners are not entirely in their childs best interests and more like family politics. There are also some advantages. Communication between family members regarding the marriage can often lead to a great deal of understanding of how relationships can work and also the whole notion of love growing in the relationship eliminates any chance of disappointment at a lack of romantacism.

What can we learn out of these relationships?

Hopefully, you aren't now more confused than when you began reading this article. What we can learn from these examples is that we need to challenge our assumptions about what defines love and relationship. Too often, the movies and pop songs present romantic love as the only way in which a healthy and happy relationship can develop. Yet, when we look at different cultures and religions, we can see so many different varieties and experiences of love and relationship exist, which have facilitated millions of successful relationships. If we can open our minds to these different perspectives, then perhaps we could begin to let go of many expectations which can sometimes leave us feeling that we are somehow missing something from life.