Quality in parenting, as in any other activity, is measured by results: children to be proud of, who are happy and do well. Anyone who gets good results in any activity is applying some of the principles of quality, whether they know it or not. More to the point, anyone who applies the principles of quality gets good results.



The First Major Principle of quality is that quality is an attitude. Merely saying you want things to be better is not an attitude. The attitude of quality means that you believe, you understand, that better is a good direction to go, and that staying the same or getting worse are not good directions to go. Good enough is never good enough.

No matter how powerful the First Major Principle of quality is, and how absolutely necessary it is in order to achieve high quality results, it is not sufficient by itself. The other two Major Principles and the four Applied Principles work together.

The Second Major Principle of quality is an unfortunate fact of life, which you have to be ready for before it knocks you down and out. Quality leads to opposition. A few general comments are needed, and then I will show how it applies to parenting. Throughout this discussion, you will see how applying the First Major Principle is crucial to being able to handle the Second.

Quality leads to many positive responses, of course, not just to opposition. Increasing quality leads to admiration, rewards, happiness, and many more life improvements. But, inevitably, it also leads to opposition, and if you are not ready for it, and don't recognize it, it can knock you backwards and down very quickly.

As you increase quality, you will regularly hear people tell you "It doesn't have to be that good" and "Why bother? No one cares." You will be made fun of, and told you are wasting your time, and biting off more than you can chew, and dozens of other negative messages. You may even find yourself telling yourself to give up, it's too hard, it's not worth it.

Don't listen. Okay, listen, but grab hold of the First Principle tightly, and keep on increasing quality. Keep on doing things a little better, learning more, trying harder. The rewards are worth it.

How does this apply to parenting? Because there are more theories of parenting than there are parents, and not all of them work very well. You will run into a lot of people whose ideas don't agree with yours, and they will try, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so subtly, to tell you what you "should be doing" to raise your kids. The only thing you really should be doing (see? even I do it!) is applying the principles of quality.

Children learn by example. They do what you do, and they do what seems to work. If they see you doing things well, they will do things well. If they see you agreeing that you are not raising them correctly, they will believe that you are not raising them correctly.

Keep the Second Major Principle of quality firmly in mind with your children. They try very hard to increase quality in their own lives and in yours. They will run into opposition also, especially from other children. Try not to be part of that opposition, by calling them a "bad boy" or telling them they are "making a mess" when they are trying to create something for you. Making life better is a natural, inborn trait in all children, but it can be beaten down -- and usually is.