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The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem

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Why are there so many women haunted by a low self-esteem ?



I have shared many thoughts through out my blogs on feelings, jealousy, worries, fears, and self-esteem. Every day I receive mail from all over the world from women suffering from a lack of inner power to get through the day, due to a low self-esteem. It does not only affect their relationships at home, it also follows them into their work place, where they are being suffocated from a lack of confidence.

In a work place the power of self-esteem needs to be high so that ones confidence can guide them through actions such as: important decision making, dealings with an opposite sex boss, office politics, other staff members trying to gain on your efforts, talking to clients or customers on the phone or in person, dealing with rejection regarding your work, and even things as simple as fitting into the social side of your job (making friends). People deal with this everyday, and when they are suffering inside, their power of self-esteem is definitely very low. Then they still have to deal with the rest of their day. It's no wonder the corner bar looks like a nice hide-away.

There are two parts to the meaning of the power of self-esteem:

1: self-acceptance, which is an appreciation of ones worth as a human being.

2: self-confidence, the knowing that you are competent enough to use your gifts to their fullest.

To have the power of self-esteem, one must be able to feel both emotions in a positive manner.

Through ones life, they have learned through negative experiences to doubt themselves, to fear criticism and ridicule. They have also learned to cut themselves down at a glance of someone else they deem to be richer, prettier, or smarter. They eventually lose the power of self-esteem.

We can run through our past, over and over and over again. We can bang our heads on the wall, we can create eating disorders in ourselves, we can cut up our bodies just to feel something, or we can even turn away from everyone we love and cherish for fear they may just find that one tiny keyhole to unlock our self-pity trap we are in. We can do just about anything to not find the strength to gain back the power of self-esteem. It is after all the easy road to take, is it not? To fail, to cry out for sympathy, to get attention, even if it is the wrong attention. I have learned one very important thing in all my work through helping women gain the power of self-esteem, no matter how many times you see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, smarter, happier, better spoken, or with a colgate smile you envy, the sun will come up tomorrow with or without you. Your worries and self-pity caused by your weakness to control the power of self-esteem that is inside of you. It is waiting to be used as the gift that you were born with. You can spend hours hurting and suffering inside because you are not, or cannot be who you think you should have been. You must stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by the world. When your mind feels threatened, it will automatically react to protect you. This is where your thoughts and your actions collide. Confusion becomes part of your thinking now and this is when the negative emotions take over fast and furious. Into the pit, you go.

The ability to shift your focus to positive mental thoughts during stress is the most important link needed to escape any emotional trap we fall into. The power of self-esteem is all about your first thought and how you deal with it. It is at that split second that you have to decide to think positively or just plain toss it out of your head. Tossing negative thoughts is something I have mentioned before,"HABITS".

Your goal is to offset the mind-body reaction to the stresses we are constantly forced to deal with through society. The power of self-esteem can be gained if you really want it. I know that I have filled my website and my articles with everything from A-Z on steps to get you there.

Women are still in constant belief that only over weight woman, or not so pretty woman (by society`s standards) are at risk of losing the power of self-esteem.

Again I repeat this over and over, please read ,"Why Do Pretty Girls Cry". It's all there. I speak of the pretty girls, and society`s way of convincing you that only ugly girls cry. I know that is a harsh statement, but I am trying to get through to every person on earth that the power of self-esteem is in each and everyone of us. We are all born with it. Yes we all have our reasons for our weaknesses. OK, now that we know that, lets move on. How can we fight off the negative thoughts that bring us down? Through my thoughts in my website and blogs, you can educate yourself and learn to improve your thinking habits. It is possible, but not easy at all. That is the reason so many of you fail to gain the power of self-esteem. You have no consistent learning strength. You fear anything that takes time and dedication.

Then why is it that you will search endlessly through every search engine for ways to get you through this hell you are in, pay a nonsensical amount of money to a therapist to tell you what you already know, cut yourself, or make your body suffer through eating disorders, not to mention put yourself and your friends in so much turmoil over your inability to create better mind over matter habits? Can you see what I see there? I see that you do have the power of self-esteem. You do have the patience, the will and the strength to shine. You do not need to worry about anything. You choose to worry and you allow the negative thoughts. Ask yourself the next time you feel threatened, "If I do not stop this negative thought, will it change who I am, or make me that of which I envy?" NOT and NO!!!!! Please realize this, only you are suffering in that pit. Only you are losing out on all the smiles that life has right at your reach. You are in control of your happiness. You can toss off all those comments or remarks. You can turn your back on someones else's weakness or problems that may cause you to feel less than who you really are. Let them suffer in their own stupidity. No one can threaten you, but you. Do this also when you feel the challenge of negative versus positive thinking:

BREATHE DEEPLY

IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE

NOW THINK THE POSITIVE

ACT UPON IT

BREATHE AGAIN DEEPLY

PAT YOURSELF FOR WINNING THAT WAR

NOW SMILE

YOU NOW HAVE, "THE POWER OF SELF-ESTEEM!

Trust me here, the more you create this habit, my friends, the easier it becomes. Like anything else worth having in life, it is not going to come easy, but it does come and it is oh so sweet!!!!!!

*********************************

"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building their nests in your hair." -Chinese Proverb
The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem
We all desire to have true self confidence in all areas of our life. Like most things we want, it is always tempting to choose the path of least resistence. Unfortunately, this method will often cause disappointment and confusion in the long term. Self confidence is not difficult to obtain once you have the right formula. Better yet, true self confidence will become a fabric of you once you start developing the three main pillars.

The first pillar of self confidence is education. My first instinct to acquiring self confidence was to read books and listen to CDs about it. I gained my best eduation on self confidence by asking experts in their fields how they obtained it. The best educational foundation for self confidence is a combination of books, CDs and other's personal experiences. The most important step in the education process was to only apply my learning to one area of my life. For example, I wanted self confidence in my profession which was sales and marketing. I read books on finding prospects and closing deals. I also asked the most successful marketing and sales professionals how they handled certain situations. Be specific when you start the learning process. Self confidence is something we desire in every area of our life. Amazingly, once you start to educate yourself in a specific context, you will see that you can apply it to all areas of your life.

The second ingredient of self confidence is experience through action. A more direct way to state this is take action. We have all been guilty of educating ourselves and suddenly realizing we have made a great discovery. The problem that most of us have is once we acquire the information we fail to take action on it. I will be the first to admit this. Do the action that will bring you confidence. If you are in sales and you have a problem closing deals with your prospects, ask for the sale. If you want to ask out some one on a date, simply ask for the date. Remember, the result is not what is important. In the short term, it does not matter if the person says yes or no. If you do get a yes, your self confidence will immediately get a boost. If you get a no, you will gain valuable experience that will help you the next time you ask. Failure is the most important element of experience. Read this sentence again. Those with the greatest self confidence still fail more often in their life than succeed. Accept failure as a stepping stone to unwavering self confidence. The reason is once true self confidence is attained; once one becomes comfortable with failure, the mind will start to look for the opportunity in everything.

The third pillar is faith. Faith is that power that can not be measured like education and experience. Faith is an ingredient, when accepted, that will take you to higher levels not even imagined. I am not talking about blind faith. I am talking about educated, prepared and confident faith. True faith will be accomplished when you take action against your fears. You will know when you have real faith because you will thirst the knowledge, experiences and situations you once dreaded. You will be master of your emotions no longer fearing failure. Your faith will drive you through these fear thoughts. They will no longer be looked at as barriers but rather simple challenges that will only make you better in the long term.

Remember that all three pillars of self confidence have to be practiced and executed consistently. Faith breeds action. Faith is a necessity to taking consistent action. Education without action is worse than not learning in the first place. If you do not take action, you will not learn. Work on all three pillars simultaneously in your daily life now and take the first step to true self confidence.
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About Author
Both Dorothy Lafrinere & Joe Czarnecki are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Dorothy Lafrinere has sinced written about articles on various topics from Women, Self Esteem and Women. Dorothy Owner/Operator Website- Weblog-
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